The dressing gown and the beads hanging from the door saved their lives!
Let’s go back to the newlyweds 1st nights together. Now we not talking about the beginning mamesh ( yeshivish language meaning really or Betezm = in essence) rather after a few months of marital bliss, the intifada leaving a ruffled pillow feathers, and their bottom line opinion and goal, to stick it out in the holy land no matter what. War planes flying above and rioting calming down between the differing groups. Friends we know well leaving out of fear either of the pending war that never came or the potential bus suicide bombing that unfortunately made destruction apart of life in Jerusalem. However, being newlyweds and determined ones at that, our Husband talks of belief in our loving protective Father above and below, especially when the below Father is helping to pay the rent. Wifey shakes of the fears of friends who have already left the holy land for supposedly safer shores. She begins to venture forth to work at night painting up other happy Wifey’s to be and giving them the best look for there soon to be Husbands at their spiritual union (i.e. the wedding, which by the way needs as much distraction from what they both have got themselves into – the mitzvah/commandment of making the bride and groom happy!). Our Husband awaits her return every night nervously not sure he likes this routine bus trip to more classes on makeup and design. He imagined their beginning of marriage, spending long nights together serenading Wifey with his guitar and talking about deep thoughts until the crack of dawn.
Instead, our Husband was worrying about his Wifey returning safely on the bus back home late into the night, while he almost fell asleep waiting reading some uninteresting novel about spiritual guides etc… So one of those long nights alone our Husband got it into his head tonight would be different, instead of anxiously waiting he would go out to greet her at the nearest bus stop at least a 10 minute walk. Since it was close to midnight and he the rabbi was already in Paros’s pajamas and dressing gown. The Purim soul of this husband (being he was born on Purim 16th Adar when its 3 days in Jerusalem, and a holy rabbi already called him “a Purim yid”) came out that moment and this time armed with his long winter coat over his Paros’s pajamas outfit, braved the cold windy night. All for the sake of love and life did our Husband make his way towards the love of his life Wifey. Wifey quickly exits the bus at the right stop and her jaw drops. Oh no, not again! The most embarrassing Husband in the world trick again. Like when they were dating and he turned up in his dad’s oversized suit while making all sorts of mistakes in Hebrew to the Rabbi’s who praised his wifey in front of him while praising him that he’s recently moved into a top class of the school. “She’s such a Mevakesh (= ‘wants to know the truth no matter what’), and the soon to be Husband dressed in a fat man costume gone thin, replies to the Rabbi in front of the soon to be Wifey, “what is a Mevakesh (= well he really wants to know the truth even at his Wifey’s embarrassment). Or when he made a blessing on the plastic fruits during their Lchaim (= the informal drink to celebrate their engagement together) and the host kindly made a comment on the weekly portion about Yosef and his dreams, “what really is reality”. Or every time he ever blessed over/after eating bread apart from the fact he was a Kohen/ from the priestly family of Cohanim, being called on to lead the blessings many times and getting a lot of words wrong with his Wifey determined to correct this weekly embarrassing occurrence by teaching the Husband the correct pronunciation. And now back to the bus stop and Paros’s Purim outfit, Oih vey he’s doing this again, people in the street stop what they’re doing as Wifey and Husband unite. But not in love rather in a huff and a puff as she storms off with him and the dressing gown belt was dragging on the ground in hot pursuit. Back to their humble abode this chase takes the couple and in their confusion they forget to lock the door. “You’re not doing this anymore!” the Husband requests, “You’re not doing this anymore!” the Wifey requests. And in the end the Wifey does stop going as babies change the flow of life, but the Husband still keeps up the Purim charade. So back to the fight, they go to sleep not on great terms and the front door is unlocked. As with all good fights, the timing was impeccable and the new cleaner who’d been hanging around too much, seemed to notice the open door after midnight rounds. Made his cleaning job a quick freebee into their newlywed kitted out apartment and cleaned off with all the new (trief) phones and camera, while evilly taking the tzaddakah/ charity box. However, the big money was in the bedroom and this is where a brother-in-laws present of blue beads hanging from the door came in handy. The building Cleaner or should they say Robber was scared off by the hanging beads and dare not enter the bedroom and so live on the Wifey and Husband together. The morning awoke with sour feelings and the realization that they’d been robbed and the cleaner had done a good job of disappearing too. So now a trip to the police station doesn’t achieve anything and nor does the fact that there flying to London in a few days and their passports are gone. Oih vey, off Husband and Wifey go to the passport office in Jerusalem. So the Conciliate of Britain the great empire of old actually closed down by now and the other passport would require a trip to Tel Aviv for the other Conciliate all the way in some huge mall at the top of some huge building somewhere. Now its Wifey’s turn as they weren’t getting far in replacing the stolen passports and time was ticking on. Husband returns from the toilet with Wifey laughing hysterically “Oh I checked one of the folders in my hand bag and found all the passports”
Thank G-d, they could finally return home and then onto London, but the story of the dressing gown and beads never left their hearts and minds, Wifey and our Husband!