Does your Wifey make Mistakes?

Wifey’s problems and the oldest sin of our Husbands, blaming Wifey!

 

Ok, hopefully all of us have been blessed to find our life partners, our besherts, right after reading and applying the Shidduch guide. If we haven’t seen instant success after applying all five points of the five step formula – then we have to remember that one of those five points is patience.[1]

The worst thing Husband can do is to copy the primordial man Adam. Being the first Man he was also the first Husband. History taught us that a Husband shouldn’t listen to do everything the Wifey asks: for instance, following the snake’s advice by eating of the Tree of Knowledge. The first Wifey did just that, and then handed over the very potent fruit so her Husband could join her fallen state.

The Husband may rectify this mistake by not blaming Wifey at any cost. A Husband must not criticize his Wifey no matter what. Even worse, a Husband must never get into the head space of focusing on Wifey’s problems. This isn’t the Guide’s advice for gaining popularity, it’s just hard earned experience, and advice from top Rabbi’s like Rabbi Shalom Arush in his important book “the Garden of Peace”.

This advice doesn’t deny that Wifey’s make mistakes – but there is no point of focusing on them. It would be much better for our Husband to be honest enough to realize he has plenty to work on himself. The mistakes a Husband’s Wifey makes are all intended for the Husband to experience consequences so he can build  his own character and strengthen an honest approach to life! So the real answer to the question, “Does Wifey make mistakes?” Is this in our Husband’s reality ? No, as Wifey is an Eishet Chayil/ Righteous woman as we sing every completion of the week, Shabbos night before Kiddush!

jwed

Surely Wifey needs to work hard on her own inner self-improvement with the help of advice from her teachers and guides – but regardless, our Husband will keep on praising Wifey. He’ll keep on working on any supposed mistakes Wifey made as if they are his own. Now we’re really talking Husband, happy Wifey 🙂

 


[1] Still, a good friend recently pointed out that not everyone is meant to achieve this Wifey and Husband world; some must remain happy living alone. This issue is beyond the scope of our book. If you want answers, you’ll need to ask someone like my friend who gets on building good relationships without asking his Wifey for advice. Ultimately we will all find our union in the completion of Husband and Wifey spirituality.

 

Thanks to Rabbi Shmuel Yosef Elbinger shlita for his free edit :), the rest we need you to support for a full edited edition thanks !
Tel: +972-2-583-7718 | Mobile: +972-527-619-207
shmuelelbinger@gmail.com | www.growingupwithtorah.com|  www.yiddishacademy.com

 

 

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The Relationship / Shidduch (finding a life partner) Guide in short 5 point form!

loveWow so our Husband left you above with a burning question, so all let’s recap again.  “What about Wifey’s? Do they never make mistakes? Are we to consider them perfect and is all the hard work on us Husbands?” The answer is simply “Yes” Wifey’s mistakes is simply marrying our Husband. Not that they weren’t meant to be, like people use Beshert/Destined, once Husband and Wifey is married, there is no going back. For sure this is going to require a whole chapter if not book in its self, to clarify Wifey’s mistake. And you are all welcome right now to provide the means to go ahead and clarify this point. But for now my close friend of our Husband is pointing us at a more pressing ?.

shabbat shabbosBefore Husband and Wifey there are our single/half souls = Young men and Young women. And  our good friend wanted to know five simple points how to get married and find the Shidduch/Wifey/Life partner without too much delay. It’s not that the Guide and friends is rushing you, and it will all develop together in the right time with prayer and dedicated effort. For sure we all await that special moment of clarity with our chosen soul mate. Like Rebbe Nachman draws a comparison to the breaking of a glass at the wedding agreement, where there is a spark of clarity that only the final union will clarify. It’s like a flash in the world of dark night wondering through time and for a moment glimpsing at the correct path eternally chosen. And then gone we resume the hidden element of two souls yearning to find each other and become one with all its awesome shine and brilliance.

Therefore, let’s in short begin these five points which with G-d’s help, were chosen with a moment of divine Midnight rabbi inspiration and midnightrabbi.com <- which in the right time will gain more clarification and explanation.

1.The big Guide of souls,

2.Sincere prayer,

3.The big Choice,

4. To know yourself and soul to find your soul mate.

5. Happiness/Simcha 🙂

Enjoyed the funny video above <-click here for more, and now lets get serious!

The first point is the big Guide of souls and matches!chupah1.The meeting of two souls requires a lot of Divine inspiration of being in the right place at the right time with the right family and friends. However, the most important clarity is needed for these two souls to really feel right for each other. See in a prev. chapter where we already gave an example how this was so for our Husband and Wifey to meet each other and go on the divinely inspired journey to become engaged and married all with the Hand of

G-d/ Hashem obvious to all involved that this was meant to be!

For sure this all has a requisite to some belief that there is G-d, interested in forming relationships especially between Wifey and Husband where this Divine force doesn’t cease to bring about this important Ultimate Union.

2. The importance of prayer and really from the depths of the heart wanting to form this Union with Husband and Wifey. This includes praying for our friends Shidduchim/life’s partner quest to be successful, helping set these dates up in a positive context, without distractions to what both their goals is. Once a person sees a few times how his/her prayers are answered it becomes a part of the resolve to pray before every stage of the relationship building process. This trains a person to face him/herself honestly to focus his/her goals of union to fruition. And most importantly as we mention in point 1 to have the reality of Divine awareness of the much needed providence to smooth out the differences that are so intrinsic to our Husband’s manhood and our Wifey’s womanhood.

shidduch is never too late3. This guiding point really is the culmination of the first 2 points that manifests in the people you choose to be friends with. The Career/Job plan you choose in life. The many choices that fill our life to all are guided towards a positive goal of responsibility and mutual relationships. Giving time to others and focusing on building with people that appreciate the intrinsic you. For sure many people are making Shidduchim/Life partners young or with guidance from parents, Rabbonim, Guides and family and friends. Many people rely on the Shudchan/Match maker and the choice of whom and where to listen to, needs in itself much choice on the side of a thinking young man and young woman.  As in the end the choice is the most important choice a person can make in this world to who their Shidduch/Life partner is and this must be truly their own serious choice.

4.  The ability to know yourself, who is this Husband honestly what do I want from myself and my Wifey. This fourth crucial guiding point brings us to the Soul mate reality. To bring out the oneness of these two souls, both partners need to know which part of the soul they are and who will complete these two souls to become one. This takes an incredible amount of self-knowledge and honesty which is the perfect foundation to build our Husband and Wifey’s marriage on. There is much to say about true self knowledge and how to obtain this, for sure learning spiritual books/ Sefarim of Truth bring that out.  For example, the recent translation of highly recommended author Bilvavi Mishkan Evnah, “To know yourself” and “To know your home, family, and children”. However, the bottom line is honest self-evaluation and hard inner work brings out self-knowledge that we can all do whether we learn Torah a little or a lot!

5. Simcha 🙂 is the fifth and final guiding point for now. This is the key to everything our Husband and Wifey need for a happy home. To go ahead with calm and happy spirit will bring much more success than pressure and not happy goals. A person to be happy needs to be reminded what is this all for? Why we want real relationships and what’s the truth and point of all our efforts? To keep the picture larger in our minds, that this is part of an eternal mission, and happiness with positivity is our goal. Therefore, each stage of searching for our soul mate needs to be done with Simcha/Happiness and positive thinking, speech and deeds until we are all blessed with Husband, happy Wifey!

See some extra sources found on line Beshert = pre-destined, soulmate (Zivug Rishon in Talmudic and Kabbalistic Literature) 
Forty days before the formation of an embryo, a Heavenly voice proclaims: The daughter of this one is destined to marry this one. Sanhedrin 22a 
When Hashem first created man, He created Adam and Chavah together as one, and then He separated them. The RASHBA (TESHUVOS HA’RASHBA 1:60) explains that Hashem first created man and woman together and then separated them, so that they would later be able to come together and be joined and feel like a single unit. Perhaps it is for this reason that before the man is born a Bas Kol (Divine Voice) announces who his Zivug (partner) will be — this shows that they both come from the same spiritual root, and that the woman that he eventually marries will be part of his own Neshamah (soul). It would be impossible to bond their souls together in such a way after they are created, and therefore Hashem bonds them together before they are created in order for them to be able to bond together strongly. (If one of them is a Tzadik and the other is a Rasha, then one can influence the other to improve since they are bonded together so strongly.) 
–Talmud, Sota 2 (adapted from  Kollel Iyun Hadaf of Har Nof)

A zivug is a life partner. In modern Hebrew today ben or bat zug is the politically correct term for ones significant other, equivalent to partner in English.

The word has some surprising connections to contemporary English via a common Greek root. Zivug comes from the Greek zogen, meaning to join and zeugen, a pair. This comes from the same source as zygote, which, means a complex cell generated by the reproduction of two gametes. According to the invaluable Jewish-words blog balashon, these derive from the Indo-European root yeug, meaning to join, from which we have the words conjugal, jugular, yoke and even yoga, which means union.

The etymology tells us that a zivug is not just a life partner. It also has the sense of being the right life partner. 

Quote from Esther Roth

“When you are finding your perfect partner or soul mate you don’t carry a list and keep clicking off items like on a shopping list. When you actually meet your soulmate you will be completely mesmerized and you will forget the qualities you thought you were looking for. Meeting your soulmate is magical and always happens at the right time because it is a story written by G-D.
No matter which part of the world you both may be, there comes a time when your destiny brings you together and unites you in a timeless bond” and live up to this advice = PRAY!

Either way wishing you much success from the Guide to Husband, happy Wifey!

The treats that are healthy Husbands and the bagels and ice coffees with any magazine for our Wifey’s!

View a sample issue of Binah

We already introduced our Husband’s top advice to make sure that the beast is well fed before returning to Wifey at home with a song on his lips and smile in his eyes. However, we didn’t mention an even important guide to Happy Wifey; Happy Husbands need to buy Treats that are healthy, with exceptions bagels and ice coffees, constantly checking before returning home if there is anything needed food wise specifically before returning home. We’re talking about real whole wheat bagels filled with healthy Tuna and Salad, real ice coffees made from a machine that ice cream like froth pours forth with at least a ton of Nescafe coffee added and milk that even in the holy land was added fresh that day! Now salads go down very well even on a rainy day, as long as its assortments include bagels and Tuna, and don’t forget the ice coffee. Hot meals are a requisite to healthy happy homes especially during the pregnancies. Truth be told, our Husband needs to be prepared to travel far, at any time at night, any kinds of food, with any kind of mixes of the most unusual foods. And then there’s Shabbos /the day of rest and pleasure, including Chocolate nuts,milk-chocolate-nuts-and-fruits any kind of glossy magazine, flowers that come ready to go. As flowers bought on the street is usually an unappreciated waste of money as they require Wifey with pruning, preparing fresh water and vase, while remembering to chuck the droopy flowers out before the mid-week stink. Our Wifey goes for the almost real fake flower look which requires the minimum of tender loving care. Like we said the main thing in the home is the focus that relationship shines with the Husband, Wifey and children all having time for each other, before all the extra desired goods. Not undermining the amazing power of homemade Challos over bought Challos, rather which the main Shabbos treat are yummy children. Its true getting the candles ready by our Husband is all part of the holy rectification of bringing more light into the home, especially when Wifey lights them 20-40 minutes before sunset depending on which country you live. The main point to remember is being more generous to each other, as this will be our Husbands for sure brownie points winner, e.g. kindly buying lunch before the Shabbos rush or pizza after a long chaotic day.iced-coffee-drink Making many hot drinks shouldn’t be underestimated, as the power of warmth this generates, even when its decaf, for hot chocolate addicts, and healthy homemade cookies all add to the connected spirit that our Husband and Wifey build.

Food is a must with relationship building, as whoever heard of a successful business deal without a business lunch first, a Lchaim to seal the deal and an even bigger Lchaim after the money of the deal comes in. We are not talking about before alcohol anonymous type treats, but rather healthy treats that bridge unity that is long lasting healthy satiation with a smile.

And then there’s the Purim Mishloach Manot and life gets really interesting, my advice find a Wifey keeps it simple and classy at the same time 😀

We all need a guide to make sense of “Husband, Happy Wifey”

 

Thank G-d for friends and constructive criticism. Like everything in the whole picture of life and history of man, our Creator and ultimate Guide gave us a complete helping hand to get it right. Every day comes our way huge amount of instructions and sign posts of what’s the right way to go with our life and important relationships. Our Husband on a recent bus journey was revealing his inner yearning to have a happy home. Our Husband had the good fortunate to be pointed towards this guide “Husband, happy Wifey”. Astounded as he read this important Guide he realized how much it applied to himself and would be good for Wifey too. The problem is that many Husbands feel above these kind of Guides, but he hoped that like his friend who had recommended him this important Guide, his friend’s Wifey had been the one to push this Husband to gain from the advice within. Our Husband started to ponder all the different points as he went from bus journey to journey, after day to day challenges. The abstract points and stories of the Guide definitely needed more clarification, so after our Husband contacted the Guide himself, was able to clearly learn from the Guide and other sources he suggested, how to apply this much needed crucial focus. However, our Husband was left with a burning question “What about Wifey’s? Do they never make mistakes? Are we to consider them perfect and is all the hard work on us Husbands?”

Our Husband is responsible not to lose this World and the next!

Let’s see where our Husband went wrong as its more fun this way, on a daily basis the children our rarely handed over to his control and responsibility. Our Husband is way too focused on where he needs to go and other important pulls to really make the children feel secure. Are we being too hard on our Husband? No, as listen to this, one time many years ago our little children would come with our Husband to learn with a special Old Rabbi and Judge/Dayan. The class was next to one of the biggest Shul’s/Synagogue/World prayer center in the world. The children came excitingly to witness this holy meeting get a good Zach/sweet and enjoy the buzz of being with Daddy/Tatty. Now our Tatty our Husband was one of those guys that like to Chup/grab a quick afternoon Mincha/prayer service, and in this world center you could find a group of men/minyan very easily. While our Husband Chupped and ran from the bathroom back to the prayer room, while drinking a tea, phoning a friend, greeting a pal and giving charity to the one of many collectors there, our children got lost in the midst of Tatty’s positive chaos.  Our children were unsure what to do and got more and more lost in the endless corridors, and as time went by they decided to walk the long walk home along highways and parks without their Tatty. Our Husband was going nuts with worry, and out of fear for our Wifey’s wrath of losing her precious ones was scared to phone her. A friend of our Husband saw our children walking along a road by themselves; he helped them cross the road and sent them in the right direction towards their home. In the meanwhile after running around the huge World center and accepting defeat our Husband phoned home. Wifey asked in an everything is fine voice “How are the kids doing” while the children who had in the mean while returned home were shaking and traumatized breathlessly in front of her. Our Husband innocently replies, “They’re doing great Wifey, they’re enjoying every minute, we will be home soon”. Our Wifey responds a bit more irate “but there all standing right in front of me!” She continues, “Why?” Asked Wifey, “How?”, “What?”, “When?” and “You complete idiot etc. etc.”! So thank G-d, the little ones have a heavenly protection and made it home, but every Husband needs to be more responsible to make Wifey and Children securely happy!

Children are an inspiration too! Glimpse into a Happy Life Guide!

Hope the new times we are in aid your goal of having real relationships. The on-line friend deepens our connection to everyone and no-one. Really it’s all just a link in the chain to actualize the on-line time to truly meet and face yourself and friend.

For those lucky few who still hold out from on-line chats may you find much success in all you do, but be at as it may, children are still potentially protected from the false kind of relationships we settle for all to easily. We really have to learn from those around us, as this is true wisdom compelled with the humility to see the good in all we do and connect with, especially Husband and Wifey…

We join together and see “the beyond this world power” of reproduction brings out the perfect continuation of what our Husband and Wifey manifest in their journey together. Every child come’s with its own soul, sustenance’s and unique personality and needs perfectly molded for each parent’s personal growth. Every child knows what it needs and will go out of its way to get it no matter what! It’s almost like the animals fight for survival alongside a child intrinsic spiritual will to do this child’s personal mission no matter what. We have to remember and recall the purity of a child demanding proper attention and its lack of baggage to prevent the child’s need for real relationships. Of course this can be spoiled and it happens often by lack of care and attention from the parents. We all know that a child will only so many times ask for parental care and conversation about personal private needs and these important opportunities mustn’t be missed.

At all costs, gird your loins, (our Husband likes this old scool language) and grab this precious gift of real relationships, amongst friends and family. Don’t be part of those of folly that blow this diamond moment of connection just for some cheap on-line thrills or momentary slip towards money opportunities that were never meant to be. Our Husband more than many knows the casualties of miss placed youth and fallen dark world of drugs or worse lifestyles, G-d should protect us all.

So our Husband comes home from another frustrating day from work. Tired and drained from the on-line barter and bus-line banter, hungry and worn from lack of food, he really starts to see his life in the full positive flow that it goes. Our Wifey tiredly after a day of chasing little ones from destruction, and a house that has seen better order, prepares the food to stick in our Husband’s mouth as he walks through the door. Our Husband being a good student applies the advice from years ago of eating before coming home, but another quick bite before he opens his mouth always allows for more positive flow of words. The little ones smile and cry, happy to see their Tattie/Father/Dad/Pops, but at the same time happy to share their burden’s and war wounds from brotherly love. Our Husband has learned to smile, kiss and hug, turn a blind eye to any chaos. Wifey has a million things she needs to say but usually that will have to wait till after bed time, the point is children need their attention and focus. Love builds love, and our generation needs bucket loads. The question you may ask where is our Husband and Wifey able to get the energy to do all this giving and sharing their time with love. This is a good question and can be simply answered with their giving and love to each other which needs to start from their moment of Husband and Wifey’s creation.

Happy Wifey, Husband too, the special gift and guide, and kitchen counters too!

Encounters with the kitchen counter again!

 

We already established in a few different ways what counts to help make Husband, Wifey happy, however we didn’t count on the numerous ways to stimulate the kitchen counter to get clearer and thrown our Husbands way. So let’s get it straight with clarity and apply the crucial lessons we just heard recently by our Husband from the infamous Rabbi Manis Friedman shlita. Did you know this special Rabbi has a brother that has brought more happiness to Wifey than almost anyone with his songs, “Avraham Fried” (just look up the Google haDor and see the story that they really are brothers). The importance of happy song and soul filling Wifey’s home time, cheering on Husband’s newly focused time, with her can’t be underestimated. Then there’s an important theme that needs private sessions on either from your close Rabbi, Guide or if you’re fortunate enough Rabbi Friedman himself. Either way we all know the desires that function in a home which are really gifts to continue on the population and reproduction of an intimate love that is beyond explanation. This is not a book for deep reflections on this subject, however, really realizing how caught up our Husband can be on having his needs met and not allowing the true spiritual focus of the oneness of their soul! Our Husband wants food, service and sole focus, when really Our Husband really needs to give food; service and soul focus on Wifey. It’s a funny paradox of this world and testing ground to whose really spiritual and it all comes out to its full beauty with Husband, Wifey happy. How many times did our Husband wind up Wifey with his incessant needs? Causing Wifey to lose her cool and equilibrium, the messy kitchen counters ends up being emptied at her Husband and our Husband wishing he’d just kept his focus while picking up the crumbs and broken pieces on the floor. The inner message is not the reactions of our Husbands fallen head space, but rather a wakeup call to really be aware of what he’s in the world for and our Husband’s responsibility to Wifey. The deep respect our Husband has for Wifey as a special person, deserving a gentle touch and kind voice. Searching for her needs that brings to life the importance of Wifey is his first priority. Respecting the true need for her womanly space, rest and recognition as a real person!

So what about Wifey’s need to honor our Husband and build his true self esteem? To focus our Husband abilities and energies to build their family together and fulfill his purpose in the world! This is the help mate the Torah promises, always being there for each other hopefully only to aid to each other, not to help by being against each other. To know the lacks in their relationship is what will bring out their personal greatness from the problems they face together and how they can build solid approaches to transform these lacks to peaceful completion.

The point of the relationship is to come together and refine ones character traits. Not to burden each other with ones problems (rather to speak to their Rabbi, trustworthy friend, Guide or Counselor), but to support and give to each other. Allowing room for true intimacy in a way that befits two long lost souls that yearn to be joined in eternal unity! Just like our people’s long exile which will be resolved with everlasting unity with our Creator and Beloved with a dwelling place in this world, soon in our days amen!

So you may ask what this to do with the kitchen sink and counter, well the answer is obvious, everyone enjoys a good meal Yom Tov style, even G-d gets nachus at Happy Wifey, Husband too!

This message of unity and peace needs some basic guidelines that too many people know already and are part of daily life. Not to be taken for granted that G-d Himself created man and women, Husband and Wifey. He gave us instructions that capture the true sense of real relationships that build eternal homes. This is all based on the foundation of Holiness and Purity. Whether you have had the opportunity to taste the pleasure of true Torah relationships it’s definitely filled with richness and depth that all people could learn from and Jews are obligated to keep. In its essential honesty and real sensitivity to Husband and Wifey role together to build the world with happiness, amen.

Mother’s day special – Remember what’s this house is all for, to fill with happiness, a real gift!

The Clean/Dirty/Black floor syndrome!

Now this story begins with our Husband growing up in a house or let’s says a palace, where it was difficult to find a speck of dust. Not that his mother didn’t go around looking, with plastic gloves on, Jay Cloth ready, sprays and licked finger ready to inspect the immaculate surfaces of the floors. Even more so the sinks shinned better than a mirror with some being constantly attended with the goal to never be used almost, just to shine. The toys had special places, rooms and the couches in the Lounge were not to be sat on. Don’t even think about walking on the carpets with your shoes on, and complete devotion to the cleaners and hoovers that came daily. However our Husband must grow up and move on to his own humble abode with Wifey. Wifey grew up in an opposite story and rather than go in to details let’s start of in Husbands, Wifey home.

Picture a house filled with Toddlers and babies, the house is only big enough for newly married couples and we already had the bug and insect invasion stories. There’s a funny story our Husband heard from Rav Moshe Weinberger shlita about Cockroaches/Bugs which in Hebrew are called Charakim, and were invading the house of a different Wifey. However, the new immigrant/ Oleh from America was still working on her Ulpan/Hebrew learning course. This Wifey phoned up an exterminator and mistakenly said “Hello, there are Charedim (word meaning pious group i.e. a group from the Jewish people trembling for the word of G-d) on my balcony,  and I hate them” the exterminator surprisingly says “look lady I neither love or hate them but we got to get along with them”. This Wifey continues “but they make lots of children and are taking over”, the exterminator responds “yeah their known for this kind of lifestyle, but what’s that got to do with me”. This Wifey frustrated continues “but we got to kill them all already” the exterminator says adamantly, “look we all got to learn to live together happily whether we like them or not” Ha ha, so our Husband in our story wasn’t as troubled with this kind of stories and usually his Wifey just cleaned up the mess that brought the bugs there, filled in the holes and got on with her life, exterminator free. However, our Husband couldn’t tolerate the mess the wonderful beloved children caused. Tired Wifey wasn’t up to daily, hourly clean ups and preferred to clean up when the time truly called for it, but our Husband was used to the highest of Ritzy standards and he couldn’t tolerate the dirty floors. Our husband friend and learning partner clarified that there’s nothing wrong with living with black floors, “better the children shine rather than the door handles and windows shine instead”. The truth be told Wifey was doing a good job of cleaning at the end of every week so the weekend and the Shabbos Queen could be greeted with the honor She so deserves. And our Husband developed a Syndrome known as the Sweeping addict. Once again our Husband heard a lofty tale of old where one of the Righteous famous Beadles Rav Tzvi Hersh Rimanover later to become the Rebbe himself had been known to sweep the floor with lofty intentions, e.g. cleaning away all the negative external forces that troubled the worshipers in Prayer.  The original Rebbe Rav Mendel of Rimanvoer saw the way his Beadle cleaned out the Shul of all unholy thoughts and yearned for such a sweeping even on the day of Rav Tzvi Hersh’s wedding day. Many years later a simple Jew was given the privilege of sweeping out the Shul for the Divrei Yechezkal aka the Shinver Rebbe son of the Divrei Chaim of Sanz. This simple Chassid decided in his simplicity that he wanted the same intentions as the holy Beadle of Rimanover even though he didn’t know what they were and in Heaven they should consider his sweeping as if it was so. When the Shinver Rebbe walked in, he bellowed “whose been sweeping this Shul”, very scared our Chassid responded “I did” the Shinver continued “and what were your intentions” the Chassid in fear responded “ the same intentions whatever the holy Beadle of Rimonver  had”, the Shinver lit up “Ah such holiness has been created here that its pours out this Shul”.

DSC00553

And so the our Husband hoped his sweeping addiction could also have some holy purpose, but mostly it just came as an insult to Wifey’s attempt to run the house properly. Every Wifey is house proud and the holiest thing our Husband can do is compliment Wifey and her house, or at least keep his mouth shut and broom stored away until the end of the day, not every time he walked into her humble abode.

The point is that it’s more important that Wifey shines with happiness and then the children shine with joy and then the house smells of positivity than our Husband giving into the Clean floors Syndrome.

The Big Mistake/s! A real guide you will all speak about!

 speech positive midnightrabbi guideThis almost a Steven King horror story and if for some holy reason you don’t know who Steven King is, just imagine he’s the King of the Demons exposing all the horrors you can’t even imagine. What could really unsettle this “Husband, Wifey happy” goal of our book other than real disaster style stories which would really be a waste of all our time to write about. The key word is the correct speech or rather positive speech or for lack of and worse negative speech or let’s more nicely say not positive speech!

 

Our Husband had been away in London fundraising not so successfully for a worthy program for the youth and the culture shock on his return was a lot. The fancy life style of London people had left its mark plus the lack of sleep which kept our Husband somewhat disorientated. Our Wifey was eagerly awaiting our Husbands return with the young rabble excitedly hanging on to her dress. The private cab/taxi with our Husband more successful fundraising companion had ordered to bring them back from the airport had its comfort zone to cushion the change to dusty hot and holy Israel. As our Husband draws close tiredly back to his home in the holy new day of beautiful Jerusalem he leaves the driver with his card and a present of music that he’d been given in London which he was happy to have left there. Our Wifey stands at the entrance of the building smiling and waving as their cab/taxi pulls into the road. Our Husband notices his Wifey is wearing a new shirt which he comments to his companion in the Taxi “wow my Wifey looks like she put on weight maybe I should have never come back lol or maybe it’s just the new shirt”, his companion responds with a laugh and wishes him well and our Husband leaves the cab/taxi, our husband holding his bags and Wifey holding her babies unite.

After a while of unpacking our Husband turns to his Wifey and makes the BIG mistake of his marriage so far, and repeats what he said to his fundraising companion in the cab/taxi about Wifey’s new shirt. So let’s not get into this story of what happened after this improper speech from a Husband to a Wifey, but in short Wifey was devastated, broken, shattered, angry, embarrassed and beyond words hurt. Our Husband had in short transgressed one of the 10 commandments of marriage and called Wifey overweight or fat looking or worse frumpy. As much as our Husband tried to explain, back track, be nice, give presents, and beg forgiveness with cries for help, the damage was done. The real problem is this wasn’t an isolated incident as our well-spoken and honest Husband had the habit of making one too many mistakes with his speech. Like when Wifey was after her one of many babies, she really was exhausted and our thoughtful Husband decided to compliment her with how stunning she didn’t look. The words he used was to be exact “You look stunning”, but the problem was Wifey in her tiredness knew he meant “not stunning”. Anyhow, we could go on all day and night where our Husband made the wrong statement again and again, it’s better we save you the pain.

love windows So let’s understand rather what the Baal Shem Tov (appropriately the master of the good name) may his merit protect and bring shalom/peace to our entire Husbands Wifey happy, guide us in the right path to go on. Basically this kind and holy soul the B’sh’t taught us that the thoughts of our Husband effects our children’s behavior, the speech of our Husband effects our relationship with Wifey, and our Husband kind deeds influences the state of house and heritage. 

love zalmi baloons

Therefore, we see the importance of speech being positive, thought out, guided with kindness and common sense niceness to really make our Husband, Wifey happy. This is the deep secret of turning darkness into light, turning our BiG mistakes to BiG change towards encouragement, appreciation from a deep place, connecting with warmth and devotion, truth and consideration, soul and song, inspiration and love. May we all merit saying what we need to say in the right time, place and person always to bring a pleasing aroma with all our words, especially Husband, Wifey happy!

A special time to receive an important gift, happy healthy summer “guide” needed!

The Beetle bugs and more from above!

cheesecakeThis is an extra story inspired by the summer months, a time of potential growth with milk and honey, the sweetness of Husband and Wifey happy.

However, with every time of peace there is a time of war. As we began this book so we shall end it, but this time the invading army of insects are of the beetle bug kind. Recently in the Holy land around the time of Pesach / Passover there was an invasion of Arbeh / Locusts reaching world news as a special hint to the Plague that originated in Egypt / Mitzrayim. This story was years before when the children were still babies and time for Wifey and Husband to have alone time including special quiet meals together was a reality. The problem was the unwanted guests, also wanted to be there and we’re not talking about the beloved crying babies. Moving into a new apartment with more space and a nice balcony to make a meal together Wifey worked hard to cook up a storm. Wifey chose with satisfaction her latest yummy recipe’s and set a table fit for her King on their newly acquired balcony. Little did Wifey know that her Husband hadn’t invited guests this time they gatecrashed from above. As Husband complimented Wifey and prepared to be seated, so did 1000’s of black beetle bugs descend on their finely set meal of togetherness? The strangest invasion of aliens would’ve been less evasive as this summer the Beatles came alive and in numbers. Therefore, Husband and Wifey reached a new level of closeness and I mean that literally, closed up in the apartment, Wifey screeching and our Husband fighting them off while desperately trying to salvage their special meal and time. So with this in mind our Husband and Wifey appreciate their quiet time these days even if it has to be much later and sometimes inside due to unwanted mosquitoes. As the main thing is to connect at some point with food beetle bug free and our Husband smiling at our Wifey happily even if the test from above challenges this union, we must all keep focused and wanting “Husband Wifey happy”