Wifey’s problems and the oldest sin of our Husbands, blaming Wifey!
Ok, hopefully all of us have been blessed to find our life partners, our besherts, right after reading and applying the Shidduch guide. If we haven’t seen instant success after applying all five points of the five step formula – then we have to remember that one of those five points is patience.
The worst thing Husband can do is to copy the primordial man Adam. Being the first Man he was also the first Husband. History taught us that a Husband shouldn’t listen to do everything the Wifey asks: for instance, following the snake’s advice by eating of the Tree of Knowledge. The first Wifey did just that, and then handed over the very potent fruit so her Husband could join her fallen state.
The Husband may rectify this mistake by not blaming Wifey at any cost. A Husband must not criticize his Wifey no matter what. Even worse, a Husband must never get into the head space of focusing on Wifey’s problems. This isn’t the Guide’s advice for gaining popularity, it’s just hard earned experience, and advice from top Rabbi’s like Rabbi Shalom Arush in his important book “the Garden of Peace”.
This advice doesn’t deny that Wifey’s make mistakes – but there is no point of focusing on them. It would be much better for our Husband to be honest enough to realize he has plenty to work on himself. The mistakes a Husband’s Wifey makes are all intended for the Husband to experience consequences so he can build his own character and strengthen an honest approach to life! So the real answer to the question, “Does Wifey make mistakes?” Is this in our Husband’s reality ? No, as Wifey is an Eishet Chayil/ Righteous woman as we sing every completion of the week, Shabbos night before Kiddush!
Surely Wifey needs to work hard on her own inner self-improvement with the help of advice from her teachers and guides – but regardless, our Husband will keep on praising Wifey. He’ll keep on working on any supposed mistakes Wifey made as if they are his own. Now we’re really talking Husband, happy Wifey 🙂
 Still, a good friend recently pointed out that not everyone is meant to achieve this Wifey and Husband world; some must remain happy living alone. This issue is beyond the scope of our book. If you want answers, you’ll need to ask someone like my friend who gets on building good relationships without asking his Wifey for advice. Ultimately we will all find our union in the completion of Husband and Wifey spirituality.