This is now the most important part of our Guide together, where we really get focused on what our Husband and Wifey’s whole relationship is all about. It is time to remember that even the Guide himself has to get advice from more experienced Guides and hear if the Guide himself is applying what he is helping our Husband with. This is the heart of the matter and needs our full focus and attention. This implies that you reading this has learned already from our Husband funny tales of woe (he jokes to himself, Woman is made up of Woe man and even worse expression of the lack of holiness in the English language, his Wifey hormones made up of Hoare moans). But we must leave these silly jokes aside and keep focused on our Guide getting his heart and knowledge from holy refined more intelligent living examples of Guides. People who honor his Wifey like the Divine presence (in the holy tongue the ancient Hebrew and very much alive description of man and woman is Ish and Isha, which in this holy vernacular contains between these two words when joined together in the union of marriage the way we are Guided, reveal the holy letters of the name of G-d, yud and heh = Kah). The Queen-ship of Wifey would become his most important priority no matter what. The most holy and important agreement in any person’s life to commit under a Chuppa / Wedding canopy with two witlessness, in a Kesubah / Wedding agreement, for our Husband to truly give Wifey, clothing, connection and a home to live together. Our Husbands binds himself as “it’s not good to be alone” and becomes someone that isn’t egocentric but rather selfless. Our Husband must give and display that Wifey is his Priority no matter what and this deal us until 120 years meaning forever. Our Husband is no longer selfish and wanting his needs met. Our Husband must truly give over the real deep sincere love that every Wifey is given the intrinsic knowledge to know if it’s sincere or not! A love that is from our Husbands heart and expresses itself in his thoughts, speech and deeds, Every morning our Guides Guide wakes up thanking G-d for a new day of life and for his Wifey. This is true life to live happy with Wifey. Especially such a gift of a Wifey like this! What is the heart of the matter our Husband needs to master to really make Wifey truly happy? Let’s define this love as real dedication and giving to another person so they intrinsically feel the altruism in the love. Simply put the love our Husband gives is in order to bring out a mutual deep bonding love that our Wifey truly knows she is his priority in life. This love from our Husband to Wifey will fill up Wifey with positivity that she will wake up in the morning feeling loved when she looks at her husband and give her strength to do almost anything the whole day. The love our Husband clearly communicates daily will over time allow Wifey to send of our Husband to do his entire world saving jobs, life changing goals and money making schemes with her true consent and blessings. Our Husband puts asides all the distractions and false friendships etc. and our Husband with Wifey truly feeling loved, will create a team and life together that can turn any huge struggle in this potentially problematic world to just a positive challenge they can together both overcome. Life begins to smile and difficulties that previously overwhelming a family, suddenly our Husband’s and Wifey’s really focused on each other, open their married eyes and see together they can overcome all obstacles to peaceful homes. Our Wifey and Husband’s children begin to feel the love that truly feels the hearts and home and suddenly all their inner tension and attention seeking subsides. Our children feel this true love and the positive belief in themselves through our Wifey’s renewed self-esteem in her marriage and the point of our Guide has been achieved. Our Husband true love Wifey happy!
Every Jewish Simcha / Chassonah – wedding / Brit – circumcision / Pidyon Haben – redemption of the first born / Bar-Bat Mitzvah meal / Engagement meal and many much more ways of celebrating more unity and togetherness with the famous psalms 126 “Shir Hamalot” before Birkas Hamozen – Grace after meals. We all sing this together at these auspicious moments and need to think about the meaning and depth of the holy words of Dovid Hamelech – the King and sweet singer of Israel – “then our mouths will be filled with laughter and tongues with song of joy”. Our Husband loves singing this holy song especially for Wifey. He jokes that maybe when the Messiah / Moshiach comes finally he will realize the dream of Happy Wifey and then all the tears and hard work will be worth it, until then our Husband has to just believe it is all for the good. As psalm 126 goes on to inspire us with the famous words “Hzorim Bdimah, Brinah Yiksoru – We plant seeds with tears, and harvest with joyous song”.
Our Husband has a family member who runs a well-known circus and is the main performer as a spiritual laughing clown. Our Husband talks with his clown relative about the importance of bringing people to smile, and others to laugh. Obviously this clowning is planned with a spiritual goal to bridge the body to the soul and in the meanwhile makes fun of all the foolish realities of this earthly world of mostly lies and falsehood. Talking to the clown inside of us we reveal the power of song and positive energy within! Which heavenly gift of joy was given to our Husband in order to provide much motivation to light up his home and Wifey? Not to be wasted on our Husband’s crew and boys just to be known as the funny one – Chevra man for the sake of his pride. Rather our Husband has to harness this special gift of humor and positivity to praise and lighten his Wifey’s load. The Torah itself only allows us to make fun of false ways, not to make fun of important excepted modes of life. The world around us is focused way too much on being an entertainer and wise guy. Simply put our Husband can simplify his interaction with Wifey with a light heartiness and warmth, deeply enjoying the time they share and not allowing the heaviness of issues they face to take away the sweet moments together. We’re not talking about escapism, but rather dealing with our challenges with joy and a sense of humor that allows our Husband and Wifey to rise above the issues of life together with true belief and deep knowledge that it will all be good:)!
We’re going to end this Glimpse at this great book for now with a song from an old friend and a new friend, and request more sharing and support to make this a reality for all our relationships sake, and beyond to our people and our Creator, to make our Husband, happy Wifey! Only Simchas and may we see the 3 weeks turn from mourning and fasting to Joy and true Happiness!
“Our Husband and Wifey were living almost 20 years happily, (pause) before they met each other!”
Everyone knows that as times goes on the struggles of mankind get more intense and potentially stressful. It takes tremendous will and focus to ignore all the growing distractions and be in a peaceful state of mind and heart. Every person hopefully honestly grows and struggles, especially our Husband and Wifey, to find this point of unity and happiness. It has been already explained that marriage is building a family and requires real struggle and determination. Not giving up is the only option and our Husband and Wifey have realized that humor is a life saver amongst this entire struggle. As a special Rebbe and teacher in Jerusalem recently said “Go ahead and smile,” in fact he exhumes Happiness and Humor in all he does. This Rebbe has given many a time needed advice to our Husband and Wifey encouraging them to appreciate each other’s inherent goodness and qualities. This Rebbe even phoned our Husband and Wifey Erev-Pesach (the busiest time of year are the days before Passover, even the days Passover in haste!) to make sure our Husband’s focus is on our Wifey and is filled with compliments and inspiration! So how can our Husband entertain us with more tales of woe with a smile? Stories of struggle that in-liven us all to our chosen mission in this world with a laugh. As this Rebbe once said all Americans love to laugh and the question is how can we struggle and still keep our sense of humor and joy, and not just laugh for laughing sake. As our Husband is always trying to avoid and escape the struggle. This means our Husband need to laugh more and it should be with content, not acting off line or out of line and posting on line with nonsense. This also means deep thought and sharp wit, not at anyone’s expense, rather at our selfish, escapist evil inclinations loss!
This Rebbe is helping with every part of our Husband and Wifey’s life, kind words of inspiration and prayer help in ways beyond words. However, the bottom line is our Husband and Wifey need to struggle themselves in the daily battle to believe and survive this intense time of spiritual, emotional and financial upheaval.
Our Husband won’t burden you with the details as it’s already known without too much expansion. As all the stories of upheaval these days are exposed and public knowledge, including the endless challenges of today’s world and individuals. The newspapers and media themselves already emphasize way too much the negative aspects of the struggle or lack of it. But everyone reading this Guide all know, just as our Husband and Wifey know, deep down the inner struggle to be a real success and achieve happiness seems almost beyond reach. Little do we realize how much everyone is going through the same eternal struggle just to progress a little more in our own homes and selves? Talking to others our Husband and Wifey realize time and time again how much this is a struggle that unites us all. A group called Struggle group inspired<-, offers daily posts of struggles with people like our Husband and Wifey. These daily struggle constantly remind other people that this is a struggle we are truly experiencing together. This all is really awakening something inside us all, whether it’s wanted yes or no. Our Husband and Wifey spend much time opening others to their struggles, while growing together in their own struggles. The biggest comfort is amongst all the struggles we go through together, is that the struggle itself is the main purpose of why we are all here! If we can laugh, smile, sing and still dance after every struggle, or even better during every struggle itself then we have achieved something really important and made big headway in our Husband’s struggle together with Wifey. Now they both have met after almost 20 years of lack of struggles together, they learn to enjoy the struggle of Husband, Wifey happy!
The wife of this endearing young man was baking a yummy cake for the birthday of a lovely young child of theirs. She chose a sponge cake to grace her hungry family and left it settle after its time in the oven. Fortunately for the family it was a big cake that was seasoned with chocolate drops that even the most foolish husband couldn’t ruin. So the husband’s comes with appeasement in his hand, bearing a knife, begins to etch away a smiley face, assuming in his male naivety that his other female half will love the gesture. The large mouth and eyes provide this laughable man with a taste of the yummy cake. With to top it off, he leaves the knife in the mouth, forming the symbol of a cigarette, as if the cake was having a smoke. The wifey returns and enough is enough. Combined that we forgot to mention, this was a pressured time as Shabbos/ Shabbat was approaching and the children were playing up, now her cake was having a smoke while laughing at her, and her husband stood smugly expecting a praise and receives a potch (a yiddisha karate chop)!
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The Spiritual Guide to the Husband to make a happy Wifey, To be “together”, by Eliyahu Eliezer aka The Midnightrabbi inspired, With G-d’s help , and we need it – Copyright to Eli Goldsmith Shlita !
The Ant Infestation and smiley cake!
It was a special day of deeds of kindness, as many good husbands attempt to be in the good books and win brownie points. However, as you will tell, this husband needs to read the label more clearly and choose his weaponry more carefully.
The recent attack of ants, one in many beyond description, brought out the warrior and knight in arms in this endearing husband. Grabbing the most easy, cheapest solution that even the rules of Shabbat doesn’t forbid. The cinnamon solution.
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Let’s all admit the truth that we all need help! Dovid Hamelech /the King of Israel and sweet singer divinely inspired sang/ wrote himself that “we all need help”. “And from where will my help (mate) come from”! Wifey herself is called an Aizer / helpmate (In the story of Creation at the beginning of the Torah).
Everyone finds the mate part easy, but to help someone else this is a real challenge. So now we can understand the words from our sweet singer (listen to Yosef Karduner sing psalm 121 and be moved by the feeling behind these special words). This brings our Husband to recall, somewhere inside our Husband memories, deep in his mind and heart a time with Wifey before being called Wifey where the emotions were alive with warmth and excitement of potential unity. This was years ago on their 1st date when our Husband sang and covered this song of psalm 121 in a public setting back then. Our Wifey’s heart opened up to these words and potential soul mate, in divinely inspired timing and song “mayin yavor ‘Ezri” (i.e. translated from Hebrew deeply to mean, “where is my helpmate,”) and these choice timed words our yet to be Husband sang knowing that his 1st date ever was fortunately with his soul mate forever! These words explained above are from psalm 121, titled “Shir lemalot” appropriately, meaning songs that bring us upward!
Wifey is described in the story of Creation as an Eizer Knegdo/ a help mate. Some define this description as a help mate either by Wifey really helping and aiding our Husband do his role, or by Wifey going against our Husband if he misbehaves and thereby coercing him to do His role. Either way, we say that we all need help and the more focus our Husband is on the help (mate), the better. Obviously we know the best help we can find will be from the One who knows our needs the most and can provide them too and who is that you may ask? That is for-sure the Ultimate Guide the Creator of us all. The Ultimate Guide provided us with generations of Guides like His most loyal servant, King David the sweet singer and dedicated one to Israel. This is all amazingly within one line explained already all hinted to in the same deep line mentioned above while summarizing these concepts again for the sake of memory and clarity; 1. Help from beyond yourself with application,2. The helpmate reality and constantly finding and supporting your helpmate with actual kindness and help!And lastly but most importantly 3. One’s self-help. This should be noted by our musical Husband’s friends, as an indication to the best song writer of all time, King David. Not only did he sing and write and guide his people in his time, but left us with a guide book for all time. Musically we can’t imagine how this psalm 121 originally sounded and we all hope and yearn that soon we will hear music again from King David that will put beyond shame the music world today back to silence. Our Husband can see from this 1st line from psalm 121 and the advice we gain mentioned above, how importantly deep the words and the guidance therein. While reminding our Husband this is just one of many such lines in Psalms, and admitting we can’t understand and truly grasp or learn without later generation Guides explaining for us the infamous psalms and its depths! Our Husband’s friend Ari Lesser publically mentioned his whole spiritual awakening came from the power of rapping Psalms. However, to return to our Husband’s point and as pointed out before, there are the guides below too. The more skilled these guides are in providing help the better. One of the ways guides can help is after much personal experiences and training. We all could use some extra advice or even basic advice especially when it comes to the most important objectives in life like Husband, happy Wifey!
To really know who the right person to guide us is a gift from above and like our Husband was taught earlier in this guide, sincere prayer with inner knowledge is the most powerful tool he has to achieve this and anything important in life. A certain realization that the most important person for our Husband to help first is to help himself, as Hillel said in the ‘Sayings of our Father’s’ “If I am not for myself then who will be for me, and if not now then when?” Our Husband repeats these words again and again like a mantra and dedicates himself to truly come to self-help so he can then give properly to Wifey what she really needs. Wifey is generally someone who is always a successful helpmate, no matter what her situation. Then together our Husband and Wifey can help their children, and then their neighbors, then their city, then the whole world, just as the Sanzer Rov “the Divrei Chaim” once said! (May all these holy souls’ merits and sagely advice help us all)! Our Husband himself realized that the Divrei Chaim was always busy with helping the Divrei Chaim truly as a way to succeed before helping anybody else. As anyone who knows about the Divrei Chaim, knows he did truly help the world beyond words and with no selfish motives. So our Husband is helping himself by reading and living the Guide and seeking out real true good healthy beyond selfish advice to help himself.
And Wifey? Well Wifey always has been a seeker looking for the truth and the help needed. Wifey didn’t need a Guide to wake her up to her healthy help filled mission. Sometimes Wifey went to professionals who when they connected deeply was truly helpful. Wifey used these sessions talking out her pain and growing from the struggles she faced and overcame of growing up in a world of broken hearts and homes. Wifey knew her essence and this kept her striving to face her issues and still function as a Wife and Mother.
It comes down to excepting a huge change of thought and reality as what is the real true success for Wifey and our Husband?The answer is simply an intense struggle itself is the real true success for our Husband and Wifey. The clarity to help ourselves with real true advice to become whole healthy happy people that can truly become One. This slight pain filled struggle is never worth avoiding and in some way will have to be accomplished through our Husbands positive choices and hard self-help or his negative circumstances that force out a desired result albeit in tremendous pain. Our Husband favorite author and scholar, the holy Rav Tzadok Hakohen of Lublin once divinely inspired wrote over 100 years ago in Pri Tzakick / fruit of Righteousness’, “there is the challenge of positive self-help of facing yourself with truth and love, or forced negative self-correction of facing yourself with suffering,” either way we all our destined to return to our true self either with positive help or suffering and pain. Let our Husband choose wisely and Wifey struggle inspired in a way that brings them closer together. Our Husband as depicted in our only in Israel stories, OII has to be Wifey’s receiving support from our Husband. With this approach of healthy helpful soulful self-growth from our Husband and Wifey, and us learning from the Guide practically, G-d will help us all to inspire us all to seek the Ultimate Help and see Unity revealed help in our relationships together! Latest classes just in 😀 midnightrabbi-dont-givin/midnightrabbi-inspires-with-our-king! and going-spiritual-inspired/filling-in-the-missing-links-1
So who wants to own up and like our Husband admit how much torture can he put Wifey through. Everyone knows whose moved house knows how hard and traumatic it is. Some even compare moving house to having a baby. Now try growing up moving house numerous times, then finally finding our Husband, getting married hoping to settle and instead moving several times while having numerous babies several times. After years of child rearing and moving house life can get a bit tense and wearisome. Our Wifey did find comfort that everywhere she moved she had the best and most efficient movers around “Eliezer’s movers” (a good name don’t you think?). These giant men of wonder took apart and more importantly put back together with more efficiency as the A-team on a good day (old scool team of professional fix it soldiers). However, every apartment they moved our Husband and Wifey, the children got more and bigger and so did the burden of belongings. It’s a whole story to pack everything up and it requires our Husband to run around collecting loads of boxes for a few weeks from all the local stores. A recent move our Husband even stored the boxes ready for the next move. So you may have asked what that has got to do with only in Israel? But this is the point, living in Israel unless you can find with a good mazel and a lot of money behind you, our Husband never could find the perfect apartment to settle. After many years of searching from neighborhood to community, renting and seeing the rent go up more and more, it was time to buy a home. Even their bought home in Jerusalem that they owned was only 50 meters and after a few children and few years unless you’re a native Yerushalmi/ local from Jerusalem after generations of living with little belongings in small spaces, our Wifey and co. had out grown their home. The next step is to move out of rising in expensive Jerusalem to a local town nearby where supposed cheaper homes could be found. However, this too is seeing prices go up as Obama and his friends have a put a hold on more building, with the supply and demand rule the prices fly up with no restraint. Alongside these new laws on property make buying an apartment more difficult and getting a mortgage with the Israeli low wage reality harder and harder. So left with renting and ongoing moves our Wifey is far from happy about this. You might ask here why our Husband can’t have long term rentals, well the answer are only in Israel! OII rule is that people want short term rentals where either they can put up the price with regular new renters, or they move their children into the previous rented apartment. The advice from the Guide to our Husband is to try and settle the family into one home, either by buying a home big enough for 120 years on this world, or to finding an owner who unusually will be fair and long term with the rent and at a good price. This also assumes finding a good community to settle in which helps a lot with the kindness and friendship they bring. For example, our Husband found a community that after having a baby and moving house, each situation the families of the community will make them meals for lunch and supper for a full week and Shabbos.
This helps a lot to provide our Wifey the needed support to settle in, this is also something of the OII balance towards good of kindness and support of the people around our Wifey.
We can go on, but the main advice for our Husband is to be there for Wifey throughout any traumatic stage in life and being kind in word and deed to show our Husbands eternal love to make Wifey happy where ever they live or move OII.
List of problems from Builder bob’s OII-
Faucets flying of the wall causing flooding in the apartment and the neighbors below, with a real plumber showing us the garbage that builder bob claimed was all 100% the best.
Claiming the kids were jumping on the faucets when the oldest was only five years old.
Hot tap not working with the handle to turn on and off water the wrong way round.
The security gate bars fell out when our 1 and a half year old banged it closed, which was repeated numerous, every time Builder bob 100% came to fix it, it fell off again, some security gate!
The Balcony bar falling out with 4 floor drop and a hole created that a little child could g-d forbid fall through.
The lock on the balcony door was broken and he claimed needed replacing the door completely, which repair man years later replaced in 5 minutes.
The divider door which was meant to be opened fully to make a room bigger was made the wrong round and wouldn’t be fixed by Builder bob to open properly.
The bathroom built in the bedroom with not enough space for beds, when claimed 100% there’s room.
The front handle broke after a few week, 100% guaranteed.
The aluminum boards used to enclose part of the balcony were not put in right and almost fell over and killed G-d forbid passersby’s. Builder bob came and fixed it sticking the same amazing 100% glue and cloth pegs in the gaps that will hold it forever, not.
The electricity for the washing machine, claim that there was enough connection for the dryer which burned out and almost caused a fire, Which then Builder bob came and botched up a jimmi fix it, with our extension cord with some holes in the all in a matter of minutes.
Every time we phoned to come fix it builder bob responded “100% I’m on the way” and only showed up weeks later, with interesting sob stories and smiles of 1000 apologies.
Every time he came he would gaze at his masterpiece and asked even to send people as an advertisement for his great work.
And our Husband wasn’t free of Builder bob as every day he would turn up to fix things in the building which all ended up broken and short lasting.
There are more things to mention like faulty light fittings which weren’t guaranteed 100% and took a year to check them out while our children sat in darkness. And after a year Builder bob came and said oh sorry the guarantee 100% is over as it was only for a year.
And with the Sukkah boards that needed to be stored coincided with a child being run over in the street, caused builder bob to be the savior and he never made it back to help store them properly.
All our husband and Wifey can say is thank G-d for builder bob and “only in Israel” where we are guaranteed 100% a big reward in the next world for all these tests and trials.
One thing to add was Builder bob sometimes worked with his cool children and they added to the party more than Bill and Ben with real unprofessional botch up jobs while enjoying free drinks on our bill on tap.
To sum up the “only in Israel” OII, the house warming party to coincide with our husbands students before they left to America, was in a house with no lighting and toilet. And even then we already told you about the botched up toilet story at the beginning of the book where the plumbing used to get blocked way to easily. And a Rebbe who usually only said well about everything, commented on the lack of lighting out of worry for our Husband’s situation. The students loved the blackout effect and as all good Husbands, especially our Husband tried his best to make happy Wifey OII.
Someone pointed out that a recent interest online is all the funny stories that go on and there called “Only in Israel” aka OII stories. Now our Husband has had many encounters with builders and there “Only in Israel” attitude. You might ask what’s this got to do with “Husband, happy Wifey”? The answer is from every story we tell the entertainment contains important lessons. Israel is a holy land and to keep this book from getting political or religious we shall just simply say living in Israel is a struggle and these stories of “Only in Israel” don’t take away all the unbelievable advantages of living in the Holy land, rather the struggle our Husband has living here helps us appreciate this important spiritual and physical gift. Even the builders of this holy land had ancestors and a powerful place in their hearts and minds that yearns for a home that is eternal and fulfills all our deepest needs and aspirations. However, due to the chaotic temperament of these recent generations and all the tension surrounding the struggles of being in the holy land, there has been created Builders that we must call “Only in Israel”.
Our Wifey was more than excited to finally have a home in the Holy land that she can call her very own. Our Husband was excited to make Wifey happy with this prospect, but he also knew this meant some renovations and the dreaded call of a Builder to come achieve this. The agent who had found their new home also recommended highly a builder that had recently built her home. They met the Builder bob and he smiled with assurance of 100% best service and guarantee. Little did they know that his recent new work had created a short fuse which almost burned down the agent’s apartment? And the Sukkah balcony/which is formed with big metal posts with holes in between, had holes a little too big and a neighbor of the agent fell through the gaps and was almost crippled for life, G-d save us all.
Anyhow, our Husband went ahead with Builder bob aka Moishklah and slowly the plans for this palace that had to be fit in an apartment of 50 meters or less. Well living in Jerusalem the place expands as brought in our holy texts, however, that doesn’t come with architect and builders. So the first place to begin was opening up this small space to have more light and air. Ripping up the floors and redoing the piping and electrics of course promised by Builder bob all 100% best quality with eternal lifespan and the money to match the expense. Fortunately, our Husband had just inherited some extra money and done some successful fundraising deals with kind generous people so everything was paid for. Wifey was obligated in her few precious free moments to keep an eye on developments.
The contract was one piece of paper that definitely should have been more professionally prepared with pages of conditions and fixed time scale for the whole project. However, “only in Israel” the Builder bob did what he could do to insure our Husband believed him with minimal words and power to enforce this 3 month plan. You see our Husband and Wifey were renting a place which they needed to leave in 3 months, otherwise there would be big costs and Builder bob assured “don’t worry 100% this will be done way before then”. The next door neighbor of this new home noticed Builder bob and hired him on the side to do some work on a new balcony. So begins Builder bob with 2 projects instead of one and up and down in the middle of Wifey’s visit asking his co-workers, where is Builder bob. They pointed downstairs working on someone else’s house. “What’s going on?” asked Wifey “100%” answered Builder bob. More and more money was needed for unexpected 100% best quality materials for the house.
Time was moving and Bill and Ben the flowerpot men Builders bob’s workers were enjoying the free time they got when their boss was downstairs with the other job. Now Bill and Ben were slowly destroying any parts of furniture our Husband had begun to store in the new home with real Clutz Maisers/ Yiddish for clumsy deeds. Builder bob response was 100% “donkeys get on with the work”, but no offer of replacing or fixing any of the damage. Now our Husband whose midnight schedule didn’t allow him to keep enough an eye what was going on also made the mistake of saying to Builder bob how important it was in his role in life to see the good in what others do.
Builder bob smiled and responded 100% “now can I have more money thanks”. Slowly and quickly the 3 month deadline had passed, but thank G-d except for missing toilet, lights many other important necessities, Builder bob responded with come move in 100% all will be ready in no time. One month later our Husband and Wifey and children were going out of their minds with Bill and Ben using their house to eat, wash and relax and Builder bob’s assurance 100% “almost there” with a few crazy fights breaking out between our Wifey and Builder bob. Our Husband decided on drastic action paid him the rest of the owed money and said “see you later”! Builder bob reminded our Husband all 100% guaranteed and then the fun began. To be continued OII!…
Its never too late as there is always a second chance! So we already talked about returning home and opening the door with our Husband happily smiling to Wifey and the blessed kinderlach/ children/ boobalahs. Then there is a time of the week, really the climax of the week, the blessed day of rest, and the weekend, Shabbat / Shabbos. This is a whole different smile and being together with the family. If someone not Jewish or thinking he’s not Jewish is reading this blog, then the lesson for you is simple. Please turn of your phones, gadgets, faxes, emails, iPads, iPhones, iEgo and anything else that block’s you from being really communicative and focused. Now it’s the true day of rest, the whole world centers around this special moment of meeting, with our Husband greeting happily our Wifey and children, Shabbat Shalom (everyone knows shalom means peace), “Good Shabbos and hi, how you all doing?”
Now what happens when Wifey response is not looking so good, in fact she looks exhausted and the children have made havoc. Our Husband breaths deeply smiles and begins singing Shalom Aleichem welcoming in the new Shabbos Angels for the new blessing of the week!
However, sometimes our Husband is exhausted too after a rough week of exile and sweating a lot just to make a few loaves. This culminates in real frustration of children driving each other crazy and ignoring any pleas of mercy just to sit nicely and behave with etiquette and manners. Shalom Aleichem song turns into a squeal of “sit down or else” and after a few warnings, the anticipated family together has turned into a war of wills. Our Husband has already had enough after 2 minutes at home and Wifey looks on despondently when she was already dealing with hours of hardship. “Right” screams our Husband, “off to bed you children go” and quickly like a prison guard prods all his catch off to their cell. Our children crying and pleading for mercy our unheeded and the door is closed with our Husband huffing and puffing back to a far from pleased Wifey. “I work hard the whole week” mumbles our Husband, “and we need just a little peace and quiet” not being able to look Wifey in the eyes. Wifey responds not impressed “I work hard the whole week too, and preparing the house, cloths, children and food is no small achievement, and the climax of it all, you won’t even let the children eat with us and have special family time?”
“Why can’t you come home with smiles, songs and get us all into positive family mood”
Our Husband concedes defeat, slumps into the chair and calls out to our children who had already reappeared with plea’s in their eyes. “Shalom Aleichem kinder and Wifey” he jumps up smiling and claps his hand, “let’s get it right this time” Shalom Aleichem with chorus and harmony begins the take two of family time with Husband, happy Wifey.
So this story brings us to the secret of success in relationships and all world history, which hard times break ups, arguments, broken relationships and communication will bring us to a stronger and more honest deeper eternal connection.
Where do we see this most strongly, other than our Husbands funny antics, Wifey knows the answer. Just look at all of Jewish history and you will see a constant picture of marital strife between us the unfaithful Wifey with our Holy Husband Hashem/ G-d. However, this always brings out a stronger bond and revelation of mercy with longing for re-connection. Our Wifey has to often overlook our Husbands constant mistakes with the view that overall their deep love for each other is what it’s all really about and all these little skirmishes are just what they are, little moments for our Husband to focus himself more. The other day our Husband really lost the plot with a mother-in-law encounter and our Wifey was left crying. We all know the oldest joke around since the beginning of time. The first man got in a lot of trouble as he had no mother-in-law to blame his behavior for. However, our Husband remembered that as his Wifey’s heart was breaking the most important thing to do is apologize from a very sincere place and placate his Wifey before it’s too late. Pleading for mercy and forgiveness our Husbands sincerity for connection turns a very bitter situation sweet.
As our Husband is blessed with this take two or second chance approach, or third attempt at marital peace etc.
Our Husband will now in the first place provide this constant sincere attention in positive circumstances that truly create Husband, happy Wifey with Shalom eternal more, well at least for now a nice family Shabbos/Shabbat meal together!