From distractions to actually look at Wifey face to face!
So anyone might ask themselves if they still even think for a second, why am I so distracted. And what is marriage all about other that full emotional connection, with the face to face truth of the secret of the world. We’re not talking about some commercial rip off of the secret, but rather something so deep and obvious that in a world gone mad is the most hidden secret of them all. The secret is real focus and attention that joins two beings in such a way that only G-d, Himself, could be part of and not distract from this intense binding of two souls into their essential oneness. The soul filled husband sat at his table. Professing his profound awakening this Rosh Hashanah (the holy days of the Jewish new year), he realized as he read “the Garden of Peace” (Rabbi Shalom Arush translation by Lazer Brody on finding peace in your home) during the rather long prayer service of his very high and dedicated Shul (prayer house and congregation). The most important thing to remember is putting his Wifey first. The prioritized husband knows that no Rabbi, no Job, no Family, no Friend and no other person, place or time must be allowed to feel as more loved than good happy wifey. The story telling husband, pronounces his tale of righteous people who told their sincere followers to always put their Wifey first. Even for the holy days and prayer, to stay at home with the Wifey and pray near their house rather than some far off place with his spiritual leader. As the pious story runs to its end the sound of singing from our husbands spiritual leader emanates through the window.
Their Yom tov meal that already stretched into the night due to the late finish of the prayer service already ran the wifey ragged left with her little ones. And now at the climax of this devoted husbands story, suddenly the sound of his Rabbi and friends, pulls him away from his table and running outside towards the dancing and singing of Tashlich (the custom at the end of the two days of Rosh Hashanah, is to throw all the previous sins into a place of water and fish, while reciting certain cleansing prayers of Repentance). Wifey is left bewildered and Husband is thinking how good he is with his stories of priorities and finding a Shul and Rabbi right next to where they live. After dancing with the fish and rounding of this joyous Day of Judgment, this fulfilled husband exercises judgment and find himself home late that night. Wifey is crying in her bed and he enters the war scene of dirty dishes and house with the kids thank G-d finally sleeping, no thanks to husband. He notices that chocolate milk has been spritzed all over the wall and begins his kind service of cleaning the mess! As the husband scrubs the wall he sings a song of happiness at how good his focus is, you see the first thing he does is clean up the mess his wifey is unable to clean. Wifey gets angrier the more he sings and ignores her broken state and she angrily approaches him. On the way through the kitchen she screams and throws a tub of Salmon juices with bits of fish, he runs to calm her and prevent wifey from more damage and they both slip and go flying on the Salmon juice. Now there both in a real mess, but wait that’s not even the end of it.
Husband’s children have been putting playmobil men in tubs of water imitating the swimming pool they went to in the summer. Husband in his family care mode threw the water down the toilet so there shouldn’t be ANY damage. Unfortunately he mistakenly threw the playmobil men that were still swimming down the drain and blocked the toilet. This is a long story that required much cleaning as some meshuggah plumber that has 10 advertisements with 10 phones came and splashed feces and urine all over the house and still didn’t un-block the toilets and expected his pay. 800 shekel to real plumber later and a few tons of washing, finally they were ready, our husband and Wifey for the forgiveness that only Yom Kippur the Day of Atonement can bring.
A famous friend of mine said to me that the only day of the year he disconnects is Yom Kippur the Day of Atonement, 25 hours off line. And Rav Moshe Weinberger shlita proudly proclaims at a class he gave which interestingly is on a video on YouTube that he’s never been on line or even on a computer, wow. The ability to focus and give husband to Wifey emotionally face to face is from the holiest source and will solve all these problems that were depicted above. The amazing ability for man specifically husbands to be distracted by everything and anything, even more so for those on line. To focus and face your self is such an intense experience especially when Wifey is the one needing husbands attention. This feeds and nourishes the Wifey’s emotional need, but the husband has an unbelievable ability to side line this crucial lifesaving and happy home making goal.So let’s begin another story where this time the husband gets it right and doesn’t turn his life into a disaster scene from a movie.