This almost a Steven King horror story and if for some holy reason you don’t know who Steven King is, just imagine he’s the King of the Demons exposing all the horrors you can’t even imagine. What could really unsettle this “Husband, Wifey happy” goal of our book other than real disaster style stories which would really be a waste of all our time to write about. The key word is the correct speech or rather positive speech or for lack of and worse negative speech or let’s more nicely say not positive speech!
Our Husband had been away in London fundraising not so successfully for a worthy program for the youth and the culture shock on his return was a lot. The fancy life style of London people had left its mark plus the lack of sleep which kept our Husband somewhat disorientated. Our Wifey was eagerly awaiting our Husbands return with the young rabble excitedly hanging on to her dress. The private cab/taxi with our Husband more successful fundraising companion had ordered to bring them back from the airport had its comfort zone to cushion the change to dusty hot and holy Israel. As our Husband draws close tiredly back to his home in the holy new day of beautiful Jerusalem he leaves the driver with his card and a present of music that he’d been given in London which he was happy to have left there. Our Wifey stands at the entrance of the building smiling and waving as their cab/taxi pulls into the road. Our Husband notices his Wifey is wearing a new shirt which he comments to his companion in the Taxi “wow my Wifey looks like she put on weight maybe I should have never come back lol or maybe it’s just the new shirt”, his companion responds with a laugh and wishes him well and our Husband leaves the cab/taxi, our husband holding his bags and Wifey holding her babies unite.
After a while of unpacking our Husband turns to his Wifey and makes the BIG mistake of his marriage so far, and repeats what he said to his fundraising companion in the cab/taxi about Wifey’s new shirt. So let’s not get into this story of what happened after this improper speech from a Husband to a Wifey, but in short Wifey was devastated, broken, shattered, angry, embarrassed and beyond words hurt. Our Husband had in short transgressed one of the 10 commandments of marriage and called Wifey overweight or fat looking or worse frumpy. As much as our Husband tried to explain, back track, be nice, give presents, and beg forgiveness with cries for help, the damage was done. The real problem is this wasn’t an isolated incident as our well-spoken and honest Husband had the habit of making one too many mistakes with his speech. Like when Wifey was after her one of many babies, she really was exhausted and our thoughtful Husband decided to compliment her with how stunning she didn’t look. The words he used was to be exact “You look stunning”, but the problem was Wifey in her tiredness knew he meant “not stunning”. Anyhow, we could go on all day and night where our Husband made the wrong statement again and again, it’s better we save you the pain.
So let’s understand rather what the Baal Shem Tov (appropriately the master of the good name) may his merit protect and bring shalom/peace to our entire Husbands Wifey happy, guide us in the right path to go on. Basically this kind and holy soul the B’sh’t taught us that the thoughts of our Husband effects our children’s behavior, the speech of our Husband effects our relationship with Wifey, and our Husband kind deeds influences the state of house and heritage.
Therefore, we see the importance of speech being positive, thought out, guided with kindness and common sense niceness to really make our Husband, Wifey happy. This is the deep secret of turning darkness into light, turning our BiG mistakes to BiG change towards encouragement, appreciation from a deep place, connecting with warmth and devotion, truth and consideration, soul and song, inspiration and love. May we all merit saying what we need to say in the right time, place and person always to bring a pleasing aroma with all our words, especially Husband, Wifey happy!
More from a good guide Rabbi Manis Friedman! (click here <- for classes)