You are faced with the biggest decision in your life. Who is your soulmate? How do you find him/her? How can you be certain that this is the right one? And if this is your second time around—is it worth the hassle again?
The Jewish perspective on the selection process, dating, and the need to marry in the first place!
Its never too late as there is always a second chance! So we already talked about returning home and opening the door with our Husband happily smiling to Wifey and the blessed kinderlach/ children/ boobalahs. Then there is a time of the week, really the climax of the week, the blessed day of rest, and the weekend, Shabbat / Shabbos. This is a whole different smile and being together with the family. If someone not Jewish or thinking he’s not Jewish is reading this blog, then the lesson for you is simple. Please turn of your phones, gadgets, faxes, emails, iPads, iPhones, iEgo and anything else that block’s you from being really communicative and focused. Now it’s the true day of rest, the whole world centers around this special moment of meeting, with our Husband greeting happily our Wifey and children, Shabbat Shalom (everyone knows shalom means peace), “Good Shabbos and hi, how you all doing?”
Now what happens when Wifey response is not looking so good, in fact she looks exhausted and the children have made havoc. Our Husband breaths deeply smiles and begins singing Shalom Aleichem welcoming in the new Shabbos Angels for the new blessing of the week!
However, sometimes our Husband is exhausted too after a rough week of exile and sweating a lot just to make a few loaves. This culminates in real frustration of children driving each other crazy and ignoring any pleas of mercy just to sit nicely and behave with etiquette and manners. Shalom Aleichem song turns into a squeal of “sit down or else” and after a few warnings, the anticipated family together has turned into a war of wills. Our Husband has already had enough after 2 minutes at home and Wifey looks on despondently when she was already dealing with hours of hardship. “Right” screams our Husband, “off to bed you children go” and quickly like a prison guard prods all his catch off to their cell. Our children crying and pleading for mercy our unheeded and the door is closed with our Husband huffing and puffing back to a far from pleased Wifey. “I work hard the whole week” mumbles our Husband, “and we need just a little peace and quiet” not being able to look Wifey in the eyes. Wifey responds not impressed “I work hard the whole week too, and preparing the house, cloths, children and food is no small achievement, and the climax of it all, you won’t even let the children eat with us and have special family time?”
“Why can’t you come home with smiles, songs and get us all into positive family mood”
Our Husband concedes defeat, slumps into the chair and calls out to our children who had already reappeared with plea’s in their eyes. “Shalom Aleichem kinder and Wifey” he jumps up smiling and claps his hand, “let’s get it right this time” Shalom Aleichem with chorus and harmony begins the take two of family time with Husband, happy Wifey.
So this story brings us to the secret of success in relationships and all world history, which hard times break ups, arguments, broken relationships and communication will bring us to a stronger and more honest deeper eternal connection.
Where do we see this most strongly, other than our Husbands funny antics, Wifey knows the answer. Just look at all of Jewish history and you will see a constant picture of marital strife between us the unfaithful Wifey with our Holy Husband Hashem/ G-d. However, this always brings out a stronger bond and revelation of mercy with longing for re-connection. Our Wifey has to often overlook our Husbands constant mistakes with the view that overall their deep love for each other is what it’s all really about and all these little skirmishes are just what they are, little moments for our Husband to focus himself more. The other day our Husband really lost the plot with a mother-in-law encounter and our Wifey was left crying. We all know the oldest joke around since the beginning of time. The first man got in a lot of trouble as he had no mother-in-law to blame his behavior for. However, our Husband remembered that as his Wifey’s heart was breaking the most important thing to do is apologize from a very sincere place and placate his Wifey before it’s too late.
Pleading for mercy and forgiveness our Husbands sincerity for connection turns a very bitter situation sweet.
As our Husband is blessed with this take two or second chance approach, or third attempt at marital peace etc.
Our Husband will now in the first place provide this constant sincere attention in positive circumstances that truly create Husband, happy Wifey with Shalom eternal more, well at least for now a nice family Shabbos/Shabbat meal together!
For more on this special time Shovavim <- click here!