10 part #newcourse in a new approach to #happylife the “10 HABITS OF TRULY EFFECTIVE JEWS”!

#Inspired Business approach from @Midnightrabbi #inspires continues with Stephen Covey’s life changing 7 Habits, approach and adapted to->“The 10 HABITS OF TRULY EFFECTIVE JEWS” with Unity Focus!

The 1st Habit from Stephen Covey that inspires most people and relates so well with Inside.Outside approach is being “PROACTIVE” (e.g. like a Newbie writing this article to share).

This means not to be Reactive, rather to Pro-actively step out of the realm of Dependence to Independence. To develop a clear value system that resonates with Great company values.

This becomes our core focus and leads us to the 2nd Habit “BEGIN WITH THE END IN MIND”, by writing and reviewing a “Mission Statement” which capsulate our Core Values in clear Goals.

Stephen Covey himself helped formulate many top companies with their “Mission Statement” and this helps all the company from Newbies till the top focus together on what our Mission is all about.

The 3rd Habit is “First things First” which is crucial (and will get our Performance Managers and Supervisors excited) is everyone keeping a clear and prioritized schedule. Once again our clear value system guides us daily to the main Quadrant of our life of clear Priorities and Values and is disallowing Emergencies and Unimportant activities to dominate our schedule.

The 4th Habit is when our Independence has a loftier goal of Interdependence. Through the “Win, WIN” approach every interaction with Colleagues, Customers and family, and friends, is all about ensuring that both sides WIN, everyone can gain attitude bringing about a Public success (our CEO’s can get Nachus).

The 5th Habit is SEEK TO UNDERSTAND, THEN BE UNDERSTOOD, i.e. Attentive Listening – Stephen Covey himself says this is the hardest Habit, and everyone in Customer Service knows as well as our QA scores reflect this as the real key to success.

The 6th Habit is to together SYNERGIZE as a Company (truly bonding with Team meetings, outings, activities, and compliance) – privately, with our Customers Satisfaction – publically, soaring high winning every kind of conceivable Customer Service awards and rising to the top of the industry is a role model to everyone else.

The 7th Habit is the key to all the Habits being applied “SHARPEN THE SAW”, which is our training, study time, quizzes, learning all the latest policies and Reviewing all the Habits and core values constantly.

Personally, I have taken these 7 Habits with thanks to Stephen Covey to a Jewish level. Space and time are limited to explain here the full depth of thoughts behind this, but for example, the 7th Habit comes alive every Shabbat / Shabbos when we have time to internalize all the true Core Values we live every week and learn at our elevating sparks at work.

Here is a very brief summary of “The 10 habits of Truly Effective You” which I think will directly help us all as a star.

The 1st Habit is Kindness (Chessed) – going out of our way to please the Customers.

The 2nd Habit is Goals (Gevorah) – remembering our Goals and QA guidelines on every call and chat.

The 3rd Habit is Honesty (Tiferet) – keeping the schedule and time from clocking in and out in a sincere focused manner.

The 4th Habit is Victory (Netsach) – make sure that everyone gains positively from every interaction.

The 5th Habit is Humility (Hod) – empathetically listening to everyone before making our educated point.

The 6th Habit is Unity (Yesod) – joining together as a real team to enjoy true success.

The 7th Habit is Shabbat (Malchus) – the key to continued success is continuous Training, Review, Education and Internalization.

The 8th Habit is Understanding the Voice of our times (Binah) – a culture of innovation and inspiration.

The 9th Habit is Wisdom to choose (Chochmah) – how to plan the successful path ahead and to protect from distractions to the true Goals of the company and personnel.

The 10th Habit is Intrinsic Worth (Kesser – Crown) – to truly appreciate ourselves and the gift of being employed where-ever we are..)

Thank you for reading the brief version and appreciate feedback – umuse613@Gmail.com

Sincere regards from Eli Goldsmith 0533175856 midnightrabbi.com

Our goals of this effective new course for YOU!

– To be happier, understand, collaborate and apply the amazing books from Stephen R Covey specifically the “7 habits of highly effective people”.

family paul together 2– To develop a new Torah / Jewish perspective on this much-needed guide, through learning together inspirational approaches, forming these approaches, finding their source in Torah sources and bringing this all alive through our own mission statements, notes and eventual book.

– To be proactive in developing our commitment to real goals and organizing our priorities and time management.

– To make the most out of our time and energy to live more successful and focused happy lives.

– To develop and refine our mission statement together with renewal and dedication!

Midnightrabbi inspires aka Eli Goldsmith <-(click here for the year in review) – my #missionstatement Please Email umuse613@gmail.com to be a part of this important needed cause!

Communication / Education
 – To be a community manager – advise people through personal conflicts – Struggle Group Inspired – relate to people’s different interests/ goals/ ideas, in order to empower them – in touch with current educational issues and visualise positive change and growth – to clearly listen and be supportive to people’s needs in a dynamic way, with Eternal Values!

Networking – collaborate with people & their various projects – believing in people’s causes and branching them out to succeed – to successfully bridge gaps to correct all stratum of society on a global level, please G-d!

1. Intro class  – “Proactive way”  (1st habit)  The 1st class <- listen here from our 1st session together! 
– Check out class 1, from the 2nd Session 😀 <- “Be proactive and kind”,  and from 3rd Session Choose to be #proactive with a #smile,<- listen here!
-From the 4th session of the 10 habits of truly effective Jews!<-click here to listen! Being truly proactive in a way that lasts forever taking the 10 habits with you always, to be dedicated to G-d is to be dedicated to whom G-d truly loves, loving You and Jews and all the Crews!
IMG_06981st Class of the 5th Session,<- the 10 habits towards the 10 commandments inspired! “Really being Proactive, it’s the only way to happiness!” www.rootfunding.com/campaign/3517 Donate and live the 10th Commandment- “you shall not covet the house of your fellow etc… ” is applied by doing kindness and being truly proacitve so only the light of the soul fills your heart. This will be discussed more habit 2, class 2 of Session 5!
2. Mission Statements “begin with end in mind” (2nd habit) – 2nd class in 2 stages from 1st session on Mission Statements, Personal shared, Mission statement builder etc…
– Check out class two from 2nd Session  <- “Begin with end in mind” working on goals, values, Mission statements “Renewal with truly effective purpose”! 
– 2nd Class, 3rd Session, Renewal of Mission Statements constantly and finding the path of life 😀
CAM00104– Listen to 4th Session, 2nd Habit,<-Click here, “Begin with end in mind”  really writing our goals, values, Mission statements that you can take with you for the rest of your life and sincerely make a difference with!
“Refining Mission Statements” – 3rd class from 1st session on refining our goals i.e. personal, family, group, business, organization. Truly understanding the “begin with end in mind” from inspirational sources!
Listen to the 5th Session, 2nd Class 2nd Habit of the 7 habits/ 10 Habits / 10 Commandments!<-  “Begin with your goals in heart and mind” to be more successful while being true to yourself and others!
love windows3. Check out class 3 from 2nd Session , <- “first things first” priorities with time management and schedule .What’s really going to make you happy? 8th habit clear definitions of the first 3 habits, towards honesty, trust, integrity and emotional healthy relationships. Accomplishing in being Jewish in an emotional positive heart level that’s truly effective!  
 “First Things First ” the #3rdHabit, 3rd class, from 3rd Session,<- getting priorities straight with the last months of great opportunities in the holy land and Yeshivat Ashreinu till next time bs’d.– Learning 1st things 1st, 3rd class from 4th session,<- listen here, really using your time to connect with the priorities like family and good friends, so you can truly be effective and use your time back in Israel afterwards! 
IMG_0598– “First thing first” (3rd habit) – 4th class from 1st session, working from our mission statements which we framed or carry with us, constantly refining our goals, values, principles and organizing our life with centered based process of what is truly important and what isn’t, e.g. not to be money centered, or women centered, or power centered, but rather spiritually centered, family centered, truth and love centered etc… Private victory before Public victory, Dependence to Independence then to Interdependence!
love“Going in to what Time management really is” – 5th class from 1st session part 1part 2  and part 3 , e.g. the 4 quadrants, preventing of urgent pressure, and time wasting, focusing on principles and goals that really matter with worked out schedules that reflect this true focus, the power of daily devotion to prayer as an inspired way to elevate every 12 hour period of night and day with unified approach to all (Shema Yisrael 12 words = oneness) the power of speech, song, and happiness to use time fully and with life force, appreciation of the gift of life and everyday challenges of growth and success, Taking the schedule of priorities wherever you go from School, to Uni. Or college , to the work place. shidduch is never too late-“Family first”- 6th class from 1st Session, keeping Schedule the right way, the hardest challenge of our generation, bringing stories of Mission statements to make true relationships priority and cashing in big on meaningful relationships due to Family being first. Emergency or Urgent situations bringing out realizations, of career minded people with 3 iphones and other means of distractions to awaken there life to their marriage and family is priority one. Not forgetting this truth even when the urgency is thank G-d dissolved and seemingly more normal life ensues to keep Family first, bringing blessing to work, happiness and good children. 
“First things first, really using and stealing our time as time is priceless”! <- listen to (3RD HABIT) 3rd Class from 5th Session with Clarity!
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4.  “Think “win win” (4th habit) class 4 from 2nd Session <- a new life of Joy comes from an increase in integrity and wanting everyone to be successful!
– The 4th class, from 3rd Session <-, “Think win win for happy relationships today”,
– Listen here thanks<- and “Think win win” and help everyone be a winner the last class before the break, class 4 from 4th Session 😀
yochanan snow boarding– “Think Win Win” (4th habit) -> 7th class from 1st Session “think win win”, to give us a taste from this weeks Parsha Beshalach of what the public victory of eternal success based on properly applying the 1st, 2nd, 3rd habits so a person can enter the 4th truly grounded on kind, principled, approach to daily life and really want good for everyone under your sphere of influence. A story of success that keeps growing with endless investments in positive relationships, encouragements, and large scale “think win win” approach to every deal and moment in life, the song of good moments every day giving strength from the first 3 habits to really win win inspired in all matters of life.

5.  “Are you really listening” – 8th class from 1st Session! “How to internalize” and live” the first 4 habits before entering the hardest habit so far of “Seek first to understand” (5th habit) to really listen, empathise and be ready for the deepest revelations of history, intense real relationships and life filled with meaningful experiences that call out to us all!
– Check out class 5 from 2nd Session, <- Stories of people building success with their sphere of influence in really seeking to inspire everyone to succeed i.e. Listening is the key for everyone to succeed!!
– The 5th class, Session 3<-, “Really Learning to Listen!” Living life with true understanding and good relationships with all!

“Now you came, are you really really wanting to listen” < Check out class 5 from 4th Session!
hamans pants

6. “Synthesize” (6th habit) 9th class from 1st Session! “bringing it all together”  needs the first 5 habits to be organized and alive to synthesize. Everyone needs real changes to access the inner aspects of life. The “Courage to change” and be changed is the key to this important process of combining everything. However, at the same time the principles of “Begin with end in mind” (2nd habit) I.e. the mission statement filled with principles and value-centered life needs to be strengthened and focused even more!
– Truly connection in class 6 from 2nd session,<- “Synergize” ( 6th habit) as the Stones are on the way to the holy land and we can find a third alternative. The results are truly beyond our minds and understandings!  
Real 
inspiration with the 6th Class, Session 3,<- “Synergize as 1 plus 1 = 3, 10, 100, 1000, etc… ” Grow with sincere unity :D!

“To become one” – – Check out class 6 from 4th Session, the last of the 4 classes from 4th Session inspired “Synergize” (habit 6) -> midnightrabbi-1nspiration
key chalah

7.  “Sharpening the saw” (7th habit) “Renewal with truly effective purpose” 10th class from 1st Session with the 3 true habits beyond.
– “Renewal” (7th habit) Class 7 from 2nd Session,<- rethink our approach with constant study, research and inspiration”. Refreshing the picture daily with Simcha and warmth! Wow, class 7, session 3,<- Family First 7 Habits of Highly Effective People with effective #families making the difference, even the#guests feel it,  The 7th habit and Cheers to L’Chaim, #renewal this inspiration will bring!
– From 7th habits Leading to a more inner world (8th habit) hearing your voice. This level of understanding and expressing our inner essence needs the connection to 2 newer habits to really be enhanced and truly effective. This is the 9th and 10th habit of “removing distractions from our purpose on an inner level“, AND REAL RECOGNITION OF WHO WE TRULY ARE AND WHOM WE TRULY SERVE AS JEWS”. By constant research, education, and learning with the inner relationship in mind and awareness of who we really are

Class 7, Session 4, “Sharpening the Saw” (the 7th habit) “#Renewalwith Lag B’Omer light” (revealing the hidden light)! Listen here ->midnightrabbi-in-israel!
avraham shinning smile8.  “Inner Voice of Truth” (habit 8) class 8 from 2nd Session, <- “8th habit,  finding our voice, and helping others find theirs, which inspires us all to truly grow and succeed…”
– Listen to Class 8, from 3rd Session, Habit 8,<- Eat, Drink and be Happy because now we hear our voice and can help others hear theirs!

-“Our Voice makes a difference” <- listen to the 8th habit, class 8, Session 4, especially in this generation our inner voice is even more expressed. This is growing with technology and networking!

midnight and phonix simchas9.  “Removing distractions (9th habit) 9th Class 2nd Session, <- Remember who we really are and prevention of distractions to achieve this” e.g. with being a mensch, proactive life, is not allowing people and circumstances to act upon us, rather to effectively act on situations and shine forth like the Jews being true to themselves throughout history! 

tolner rebbe9th class, from the 3rd session, 9th habit,<-  Touching on true reality and prevention of distractions to achieve this! 

“Run from the distractions and disconnect to reconnect”<- (9th Habit) Class 9, Session 9,  getting ready for Session 5 (10 new classes) the 10 habits = 10 commandments inspired for life!
10.   “True soul knowledge” (10th habit) Belief in ourselves and completion of exile,” 10th class from 2nd Session, <- what’s really going to make you happy? Inspirational stories of dedicated people to honesty,  trust, integrity, and emotionally healthy relationships. Accomplishing in being in touch with emotionally positive heart levels that’s truly effective!

The 10th class, from 3rd Session, 10th habit<- The Inner Journey on which makes all the difference and the ultimate journey home! 10th habit inspired!
Check out the Summary class from 2nd Session,<-”Internalizing the 10 habits of truly effective Jews” as what we learned is the key to Joy by tapping into the light that grows within. The 10th habit and level are truly beyond our minds and understandings, but we always can learn important tools and practical advice from the biggest of lights! 

lag bomerdLast class of Session 4, 10th Habit!<- “Getting high, staying high with this Inner message of 2014-7”, the 10 habits towards the 10 commandments getting ready for Session 5! Lag B’omer to Shavuot 2014!

speech positive midnightrabbi guideImportant Good news Coming soon the last of the 5 classes from 4th Session inspired after a long break and renewed energy.
Following this with G-d’s help will be the final 5th Session of this year of the 10 habits inspired, coming from the 10 sayings of creation, healing from the 10 plagues on all our enemies, and leading towards the 10 commandments in all their glory in Jerusalem, Israel, this year’s finale.
10 inspiring classes from the 5th Session inspired will change our lives forever and your contribution is crucial and appreciated. Email umuse613@gmail.com any time for collaboration that over these next 6 weeks and nights will leave us all truly fortunate and inspired for life!

Check out the new educational version <- Just in for 2014/5/6! Sincere thanks to Shmuel Diamond of Diamond Images Photography for the donation of free books of the 7 habits and all the included editions and inspiration to begin this journey!

Important to share other peoples inspirations on marriage, please share yours!

Yitzchak Schwartz SHOVAVIM 5774  PART 8—–SURVIVING AND THRIVING IN MARRIAGE MEDITATIONS
  • Dear friends,

    A few weeks ago we entered into a 6-8 week period called Shovavim—a time designated for healing and rectifying the misuse of sexuality [with all the horrific effects coming from such misuse]…The approach we’ve taken so far was directed towards showing how individuals can elevate the Kabbalistic, biological roots of sexuality and related realms ….

    This week , we move up to the next level of this healing process—- —from the individual to the couple —from the Me to the We….The following meditations will serve, with Hashem’s help, as a source of guidance ——guiding not only for the married couple—but for all serious and intimate relationships….

    Our hope and prayer is that these meditations will help people cultivate mutually loving and long lasting relationships in an era of widespread fallout in this all-important area….

    One more thing——–Recently , I got into a Jerusalem taxi, and the driver—a 70 year old man—carried on a 10 minute speaker phone conversation with his wife…..Every other word that they exchanged was something like—I love you, you are the most special person in the world, thank you for being you…etc…etc… after telling me that he’s been married for 50 years, I asked him what was their secret ——he told me constantly seeking out the benefit, respect, well being and love of the spouse…..may we all be so blessed…..

    peace and love
    Yitzchak

    MARRIAGE MEDITATIONS

    1. TURNING ME INTO WE

    be aware——–be aware that though we may have grown up thinking that our world centers around ‘ME’, and whatever I do, see, think, feel and say, it’s all about what’s in it for me….but to survive in marriage, the ME has to turn into WE

    see————see WE in everything you do, feel, experience, think and say…..see what’s in it for WE …see what’s bothering WE….see what WE can do to get the most out of it….practice opening up this psychic space of WE and the next 10 times that ME comes up, substitute WE …and carry on like this until you make the shift!

    2. KING AND QUEEN

    be aware———-be aware that when a spouse turns their partner into king and queen, raising up their honor and adoration and love at least as much as their own, if not more so, then the spouse will not only lovingly do the same to their partner, but they actually will bring out their true royal selves, and also free up each other to live their respective lives fully, rather than wasting all their life’s energies to get that long lost respect and adoration from each other

    see————–see how so very special your partner truly is….see how you take advantage of every opportunity to let them know it; sometimes in words, sometimes in deeds, sometimes in nonverbal communication…..see what you can do to bring out their very best sides, their very best talents, their very best traits…..see what you can do to make them feel that you are doing all in your power to make them feel royal

    3. FOREVER

    be aware———–be aware that marriage is forever, even beyond ’till death do us part’…forever…and once marriage becomes another ‘if it’s not working, i let it go’, or ‘i deserve better than this, so i’m out of here’ phenomenon, like so many other throwaway realms of today’s society, then you might as well give it up before you start—or at least make sure you get a good prenuptial agreement–‘just in case’…..but if you know it’s forever no matter what–you’re going to somehow learn how to MAKE IT WORK…..

    see—————-see your marriage as lasting forever…..see how those bumps in the road aren’t really that bumpy once you know that you’re going to be together forever, and you both figure out how to smooth out the bumps….see how the passage of time causes your marriage to mature like the finest of old wines….see how the more of life that you spend together with your ‘one and only’, the more your mutual love grows and grows

    4. G-D IS YOUR OWN PERSONAL LIFELONG MATCHMAKER

    be aware—————-be aware that you and your beloved were brought together by THE ONE ABOVE–2 long lost partners reunited—2 that used to be one, learning to become one again….be aware that G-d doesn’t stop matchmaking you after the wedding is over, but keeps at it all of your lives, every day and at all times, G-d is causing you to fuse and bond together in new and varied ways that you never even dreamed about

    see——————see your spouse as your soul partner….see that life is full of opportunities of bonding in new and different ways…see that you are being constantly blessed [if you only open up your receptive powers to let G-d in] with G-d’s guidance on how to bond in new and different and deeper ways with your spouse…..the guidance will come to you in ‘flashes’ of thought…in signs, in conversations that are addressed to you or addressed to someone else but meant for you…and in many other ways

    5. GIVING CREATES LOVE

    be aware—————be aware that despite the common notion that we need to first ‘fall in love’ in order to be motivated to give to our beloved, our Sages teach us exactly the opposite—–in order to truly love someone, we need to give to them [the word love AHAVA–comes from the root HAV which means give] ….the more that we care and give and keep giving with all of our hearts, the more we love them

    see——————see yourself thoroughly enjoying the act of giving to your beloved, not because you get something in return, just because it is so nice just to give and to see your beloved receiving what you give them….see yourself becoming more and more of an ecstatic, paradised and expert giver as time goes on—a giver who is causing so much love to be born into your marriage and your world—mutual profound love….see how your love grows stronger and stronger with every passing day….

    6. ALONE TOGETHER

    be aware————be aware that we come into this world alone and we leave this world alone, and even though we may be married for most of our years, we still spend a huge chunk of our lives alone…..be aware that the Torah teaches us, that to the extent that we love ourselves, to that extent, we can love others, as it is written, ‘Love Your Neighbor As You Love YOURSELF…’…..also be aware that certain personality traits, are very different to that of our spouse’s….to the extent that we are able to be aware and realize our ‘different ness’, to that extent, we can be aware. appreciative and help realize our spouse’s, and thereby truly live an authentic, blessed life alone and yet totally together

    see—————see the years of your life going by with a greater and greater awareness of how you are unique and different than your spouse, yet you find that the more that you are aware of your your mutual differences, the more love and appreciation that you feel for your spouse, and the more amazed you feel in seeing how two very different beings can fit together so beautifully

    7. STABILITY—

    be aware———-be aware that is a time honored custom to wish the bride and groom the following blessing; ‘may you be privileged to raise a “bayit neeman b’Yisrael” [a home that’s faithful or trustworthy in Israel]….in order to create such a home, you would need a few essential ingredients [all with help from ABOVE, of course], the main one is probably stability–like they say, ‘through thick and thin’….to have a stable ‘bayit neeman’, you need to cultivate the traits of patience and flexibility, but maybe more important, you need to have the wisdom to create such a home atmosphere, as the verse says–‘bchochma yivne bayit…’ [‘with wisdom you build a home…’]

    see—————–see your future life pass by in a flash in front of your eyes, but only focus on the part that shows your spouse and yourself together in all kinds of situations. Notice how, that in each new experience, you see yourselves feeling more and more motivated and adept at keeping things stable between yourselves. Experience yourselves growing all the time in mutual patience and flexibility. See how you develop through time, the wisdom to make things work out as well as they can between you……Now come back to the present moment, and with the knowledge that Hashem can make all of this come true for you, simply declare your intent to create a true ‘Bayit Neeman’ [‘a Faithful Home’]—–and rest assured that from now on Hashem will surprise and delight you in bringing all this into being!

    8. WHAT’S GOOD FOR YOU IS GOOD FOR ME

    be aware—————be aware that perhaps the most powerful recipe for marital success is to become aware and to actualize the state of consciousness that guides us constantly to seek out how we can transform our spouse into the best possible person that they can be, and to know that to the extent that they evolve into this person, to that extent, we also evolve into the best person that we can be

    see——————see yourself becoming more and more clear about the fact that what is good for your spouse, is good for you…..see yourself jumping into the role of chief ‘cheer leader’ for your spouse, cheering on every positive move in the direction of their self realization…..see how the more that they improve, you improve, and vice versa–the more that you improve, the more they improve

    9. TOTAL BONDING

    be aware————-be aware that one of the main lessons and challenges of marriage, is that two separate people are destined to become as fully fused and bonded as is humanly possible [perhaps as a mystical reflection of the united soul that they originate from]…..be aware that the bond that they ultimately can forge with each other, can be so profound, that their united force, can successfully stand up to all of the trials, tribulations and challenges the world has to offer, even if it means going in one direction with the world going in the opposite direction [as did our forefather Abraham the ‘Ivri’ –the one from the other side]

    see———————see yourself being guided from ABOVE at all times, towards deeper and deeper bondings with your spouse….see how everything that you encounter that relates to the two of you somehow, proves itself to be a fantastic opportunity to deepen your mutual understanding and bonding…..see, how with the passage of time, you and your spouse take on a single, powerful, united personality, that is capable of successfully standing up to all challenges, no matter how difficult

    10. COPING WITH DIFFICULTY

    be aware—————-be aware that perhaps the most important and most challenging part of marriage—-ie….the part which is necessary for achieving all the previous transcendent levels that we have mentioned, is your ability to cope with the difficulty of marriage…..Unless you happen to be a couple of pure angelic beings, you’re going to probably fight, misunderstand each other, hurt each other, drive each other a bit crazy….etc…etc…it comes with the turf…..the turf of 2 very different people trying their best to become as intimately connected as possible……..be aware that it’s ultimately all for your best…..the pain you go through can forge you into becoming the mature human being and loving spouse that you’re destined to be. But you must, have a large dose of patience, perseverance and Emuna [faith], as well as a steel will to seek peace between yourselves….. and a bit of know how to facilitate
    this treasured peace!!

    see———————see as time goes by, that every time that you have some type of misunderstanding or argument with your spouse, you find yourself becoming softer and softer towards them…….see yourself seeking out more and more a way of seeing things from their point of view—non-judgmentally, with greater and greater compassion and benevolence……see how the quantity as well as the intensity of your arguments, are steadily diminishing, until there is nothing left, but peace between you!

    11. A HOLY UNION

    BE AWARE————Be aware that just as is true with all else in Jewish living, marriage is an expression of holiness. One of the main terms for marriage is ‘Kiddushin’ or Sanctification……be aware that to the extent that you infuse your marriage with holiness, to that extent, your home—which includes your spouse, your children and your very lives, will radiate G-dliness and holiness…..be aware that the Shechina–G-d’s felt Prescence—is the source of all well being…..be aware that marriage affords you perhaps the greatest opportunity for drawing the Shechina into your lives in an large variety of ways—–through the Holy, G-dly way that you relate to your spouse with all of the Mitzvot involved, and through Torah learning, prayer and other Mitzvot that your marriage enables you to access—-as well as an endless array of mundane activities in the marriage and home environment, which all become sanctified when you intend them for the sake of Heaven….

    SEE————————-See your marriage as being a ripe field of opportunity for drawing into your lives the Shechina……see that the more that you connect to the Shechina, the more that your life is filled with wellbeing…..see yourself grabbing every possible opportunity to connect to holiness within the context of your marriage—-in the holy way that you relate to your wife—-in the holy actions, Mitzvot, prayers and Torah-learning that you carry out in your married home……See that your marriage is becoming your main impetus for bringing more and more holiness into your lives at every opportunity!!

    12. QUALITY COMMUNICATION

    BE AWARE————Be aware that the main means of marital bonding is through speaking and communicating with each other as often as possible and in the most quality way possible…..Be aware that quality communication with your spouse, is an art-form to be cultivated with a lot of wisdom and dedication——usually it doesn’t come naturally to either spouse, since they represent different genders with very different ways of communicating—-the female way is usually more free-flowing, emotional and non linear with a built-in understanding that conversation is an end in and of itself—-whereas the male style is usually more curt, dry and linear and conversation is understood to be a means to an end……be aware that the key is for the opposite gender to know how to communicate not only in the opposite fashion [than it’s own]—-but to go beyond just gender differences , and learn how to communicate in a way that suits the unique needs and personality and moods and orientation of their spouse……King Solomon teaches us, ‘With wisdom, we build (our) home…’,and this especially applies to the wisdom that we need to know in order to speak in a quality way to our spouses….

    SEE———————-See that you are constantly developing the art and the finesse of communicating to your spouse in a quality way….see that you are learning to communicate in a way that is very different from your own and what you are used to……..see that you are communicating in a way that suits the needs, timing and personality of your spouse…..see that as time goes by, your communication with your spouse becomes the highlight of your day—your shelter from the storm—your sanctuary that you constantly look forward to in life—-your source of reenergizing and renewing yourself and your spouse and your mutual love…..

    13. MARITAL HARMONY

    BE AWARE————————-Be aware that there are many different levels of Shalom Bayit [literally ‘Peace in the Home’–conceptually—Marital Harmony]—-the most simple and fundamental level is to make sure that the couple is at peace with each other as much as possible——-There are deeper levels of Shalom Bayit [the word Shalom comes from the root Shalem—meaning perfect or complete]–where each spouse becomes the greatest enabler or empowerer of the other one—-They look at each other’s wellbeing and rectification and mission in life , as being their main aspiration in life…..She is his supreme object of adoration and respect….He is her King………………….Be aware that an even deeper level is when the 2 of them become one unit—-and just as our Forefather Abraham opposed the entire world’s outlook [he is referred to as the ‘Ivri’ (the hebrew) —the one from the other side from the rest of humanity]–and came out victorious, so too is it with a couple who are actually 1 unit—who are masters of Shalom Bayit—-they can accomplish anything and everything even though they may be at odds with everyone!!

    SEE——————————-See how the peace and harmony between you and your spouse becomes the exclusive environment in your home………see how the level of harmony between you two, grows more and more also in quality as time goes by…..see how you naturally seek out the wellbeing of your partner and how they seek out yours….see how you look for whatever you can do to help them rectify themselves of any blemish or other type of suffering that they need to deal with…….se that they become the best that they can become and accomplish what they have come to this earth to accomplish…..see how the two of you become so synchronized with each other at all levels that you actually become one unit…..see that this one unit is able to deal with anything and everything that life and people challenge you with….see that you become shining examples of marital harmony for other couples to emulate….shtar stars