The Spiritual Guide to the Husband to make a happy Wifey, To be “together”, by Eliyahu Eliezer aka The Midnightrabbi inspired, With G-d’s help , and we need it – Copyright to Eli Goldsmith Shlita !
The Ant Infestation and smiley cake! (Parshos Shemini is all about Kosher food) <- for Ari Lesser’s Kosher rap!
It was a special day of deeds of kindness, as many good husbands attempt to be in the good books and win brownie points. However, as you will tell, this husband needs to read the label more clearly and choose his weaponry more carefully.
The recent attack of ants, one in many beyond description, brought out the warrior and knight in arms in this endearing husband. Grabbing the most easy, cheapest solution that even the rules of Shabbat doesn’t forbid. The cinnamon solution.
What’s the problem with good old fashioned ant spray or even better calling and exterminator. Well this husband had no such thoughts, his goal was using the available cinnamon for cooking and royally pouring it on the problem areas. This of course was on all the those places that ants love to congregate e.g. under the fridge, on the kitchen surfaces, on the door frames, behind the book shelves in the Salon etc… And even more so this warrior of tradition woke up nice and early to do his kind deed when all were asleep so his good deed would have the hidden element of righteousness. It says in the laws of prayer, charity before prayer helps the prayers find favor above, so would his kind deed prepared his wife’s day free of one more stumbling blocks. However, this all was not meant to be, as even cinnamon as a surprised good advice to many a friend does scare away ants, even though leaving a brown tinge to any place its spread. This was not the problem in the plan, it goes much deeper and sweeter, and the special Cinnamon this champion used was really Cinnamon Sugar…
The weary wifey awoke to havoc, not just from the energetic already very alert species of young children, but an ant invasion. The ants came out in all their glory and the children screams and laughs didn’t help her start to the day with much order and calm. A call to the husband quickly clarified the situation as he proudly proclaimed his victory and then sudden defeat as she explained his chosen weapon, was a weapon of mass destruction, Sugar Cinnamon and not cinnamon. Anyhow, who asked you to interfere in the running’s of the house?
And now to the smiley cake story, a polite apology and gesture of peace.
Every husband in the whole world makes mistakes, right? This isn’t a story to excuse this husband’s deeds, but an attempt to correct what went wrong. Maybe it’s possible that the famous holy Rabbi, Rav Shlomo Zalman Aurbach Tz’l could live up to the truth of being a husband that never needed forgiveness. He himself testified at his
largely attended holy wifey and Rebbestin Tz’l funeral that he doesn’t need forgiveness as he never stepped out of line from the obligation of a Jew to G-d and to his fellow man. However, we’re talking about a husband that you and me know very well and probably needs forgiveness every single day and even that is hard in coming. So here’s just one of many of the stories of husbandry fool hardy.
The wife of this endearing young man was baking a yummy cake for the birthday of a lovely young child of theirs (now 10). She chose a sponge cake to grace her hungry family and left it settle after its time in the oven. Fortunately for the family it was a big cake that was seasoned with chocolate drops that even the most foolish husband couldn’t ruin. So the husband’s comes with appeasement in his hand, bearing a knife, begins to etch away a smiley face, assuming in his male naivety that his other female half will love the gesture. The large mouth and eyes provide this laughable man with a taste of the yummy cake. With to top it off, he leaves the knife in the mouth, forming the symbol of a cigarette, as if the cake was having a smoke. The wifey returns and enough is enough. Combined that we forgot to mention, this was a pressured time as Shabbos/ Shabbat was approaching and the children were playing up, now her cake was having a smoke while laughing at her, and her husband stood smugly expecting a praise and receives a potch (a yiddisha karate chop)!
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