Wow so our Husband left you above with a burning question, so all let’s recap again. “What about Wifey’s? Do they never make mistakes? Are we to consider them perfect and is all the hard work on us Husbands?” The answer is simply “Yes” Wifey’s mistakes is simply marrying our Husband. Not that they weren’t meant to be, like people use Beshert/Destined, once Husband and Wifey is married, there is no going back. For sure this is going to require a whole chapter if not book in its self, to clarify Wifey’s mistake. And you are all welcome right now to provide the means to go ahead and clarify this point. But for now my close friend of our Husband is pointing us at a more pressing ?.
Before Husband and Wifey there are our single/half souls = Young men and Young women. And our good friend wanted to know five simple points how to get married and find the Shidduch/Wifey/Life partner without too much delay. It’s not that the Guide and friends is rushing you, and it will all develop together in the right time with prayer and dedicated effort. For sure we all await that special moment of clarity with our chosen soul mate. Like Rebbe Nachman draws a comparison to the breaking of a glass at the wedding agreement, where there is a spark of clarity that only the final union will clarify. It’s like a flash in the world of dark night wondering through time and for a moment glimpsing at the correct path eternally chosen. And then gone we resume the hidden element of two souls yearning to find each other and become one with all its awesome shine and brilliance.
Therefore, let’s in short begin these five points which with G-d’s help, were chosen with a moment of divine Midnight rabbi inspiration and midnightrabbi.com <- which in the right time will gain more clarification and explanation.
1.The big Guide of souls,
3.The big Choice,
4. To know yourself and soul to find your soul mate.
5. Happiness/Simcha 🙂
Enjoyed the funny video above <-click here for more, and now lets get serious!
The first point is the big Guide of souls and matches!1.The meeting of two souls requires a lot of Divine inspiration of being in the right place at the right time with the right family and friends. However, the most important clarity is needed for these two souls to really feel right for each other. See in a prev. chapter where we already gave an example how this was so for our Husband and Wifey to meet each other and go on the divinely inspired journey to become engaged and married all with the Hand of
G-d/ Hashem obvious to all involved that this was meant to be!
For sure this all has a requisite to some belief that there is G-d, interested in forming relationships especially between Wifey and Husband where this Divine force doesn’t cease to bring about this important Ultimate Union.
2. The importance of prayer and really from the depths of the heart wanting to form this Union with Husband and Wifey. This includes praying for our friends Shidduchim/life’s partner quest to be successful, helping set these dates up in a positive context, without distractions to what both their goals is. Once a person sees a few times how his/her prayers are answered it becomes a part of the resolve to pray before every stage of the relationship building process. This trains a person to face him/herself honestly to focus his/her goals of union to fruition. And most importantly as we mention in point 1 to have the reality of Divine awareness of the much needed providence to smooth out the differences that are so intrinsic to our Husband’s manhood and our Wifey’s womanhood.
3. This guiding point really is the culmination of the first 2 points that manifests in the people you choose to be friends with. The Career/Job plan you choose in life. The many choices that fill our life to all are guided towards a positive goal of responsibility and mutual relationships. Giving time to others and focusing on building with people that appreciate the intrinsic you. For sure many people are making Shidduchim/Life partners young or with guidance from parents, Rabbonim, Guides and family and friends. Many people rely on the Shudchan/Match maker and the choice of whom and where to listen to, needs in itself much choice on the side of a thinking young man and young woman. As in the end the choice is the most important choice a person can make in this world to who their Shidduch/Life partner is and this must be truly their own serious choice.
4. The ability to know yourself, who is this Husband honestly what do I want from myself and my Wifey. This fourth crucial guiding point brings us to the Soul mate reality. To bring out the oneness of these two souls, both partners need to know which part of the soul they are and who will complete these two souls to become one. This takes an incredible amount of self-knowledge and honesty which is the perfect foundation to build our Husband and Wifey’s marriage on. There is much to say about true self knowledge and how to obtain this, for sure learning spiritual books/ Sefarim of Truth bring that out. For example, the recent translation of highly recommended author Bilvavi Mishkan Evnah, “To know yourself” and “To know your home, family, and children”. However, the bottom line is honest self-evaluation and hard inner work brings out self-knowledge that we can all do whether we learn Torah a little or a lot!
5. Simcha 🙂 is the fifth and final guiding point for now. This is the key to everything our Husband and Wifey need for a happy home. To go ahead with calm and happy spirit will bring much more success than pressure and not happy goals. A person to be happy needs to be reminded what is this all for? Why we want real relationships and what’s the truth and point of all our efforts? To keep the picture larger in our minds, that this is part of an eternal mission, and happiness with positivity is our goal. Therefore, each stage of searching for our soul mate needs to be done with Simcha/Happiness and positive thinking, speech and deeds until we are all blessed with Husband, happy Wifey!
See some extra sources found on line Beshert = pre-destined, soulmate (Zivug Rishon in Talmudic and Kabbalistic Literature)
Forty days before the formation of an embryo, a Heavenly voice proclaims: The daughter of this one is destined to marry this one. Sanhedrin 22a
When Hashem first created man, He created Adam and Chavah together as one, and then He separated them. The RASHBA (TESHUVOS HA’RASHBA 1:60) explains that Hashem first created man and woman together and then separated them, so that they would later be able to come together and be joined and feel like a single unit. Perhaps it is for this reason that before the man is born a Bas Kol (Divine Voice) announces who his Zivug (partner) will be — this shows that they both come from the same spiritual root, and that the woman that he eventually marries will be part of his own Neshamah (soul). It would be impossible to bond their souls together in such a way after they are created, and therefore Hashem bonds them together before they are created in order for them to be able to bond together strongly. (If one of them is a Tzadik and the other is a Rasha, then one can influence the other to improve since they are bonded together so strongly.)
–Talmud, Sota 2 (adapted from Kollel Iyun Hadaf of Har Nof)
A zivug is a life partner. In modern Hebrew today ben or bat zug is the politically correct term for ones significant other, equivalent to partner in English.
The word has some surprising connections to contemporary English via a common Greek root. Zivug comes from the Greek zogen, meaning to join and zeugen, a pair. This comes from the same source as zygote, which, means a complex cell generated by the reproduction of two gametes. According to the invaluable Jewish-words blog balashon, these derive from the Indo-European root yeug, meaning to join, from which we have the words conjugal, jugular, yoke and even yoga, which means union.
The etymology tells us that a zivug is not just a life partner. It also has the sense of being the right life partner.
Quote from Esther Roth
“When you are finding your perfect partner or soul mate you don’t carry a list and keep clicking off items like on a shopping list. When you actually meet your soulmate you will be completely mesmerized and you will forget the qualities you thought you were looking for. Meeting your soulmate is magical and always happens at the right time because it is a story written by G-D.
No matter which part of the world you both may be, there comes a time when your destiny brings you together and unites you in a timeless bond” and live up to this advice = PRAY!
Either way wishing you much success from the Guide to Husband, happy Wifey!