The Soul of an Impulse
We all experience in our daily lives various impulses and urges directed toward certain people or particular things.
Are you infatuated with a particular person? Are you starving for attention, compliments and approval? Do you crave nicotine, alcohol or weed? Are you obsessed with an unceasing urge for physical intimacy? Are you in love with food? Do you enjoy dominating and controlling other people’s lives?
These impulses and many others are not necessarily negative or destructive in and of themselves. In fact, all of these cravings may be expressing the purest and most spiritual needs of the soul. At the core of a crush on another human being or an obsession with intimacy, food or attention, may be the longing of one’s soul for a sense of inner worth and dignity, for companionship, vulnerability and self fulfillment.
Our psyches, however, distort our clarity and attribute false symbolism to these essentially hollow pursuits. As a result of this distortion we—just like the Jews in the desert—devote our time and passion to carefully construct and worship our personal “golden calves” in the mistaken belief that they will fill the void in our heart and nourish the hunger of our souls.
Behind many an addiction there is a profound yearning to receive or give love. But our minds are often so bruised and wounded that the outlet we target with our addiction to achieve that love is an “idol,” a futile target which will only distance us from the true love we are searching for.
The Torah’s war against the creation of the golden calf is central to our mission in life. It symbolizes our daily relentless effort of turning our attention from the false carriers of value to the true carriers of value.
To comment on this essay, For full essay from Rabbi YY Jacobson http://cts.vresp.com/c/?TheYeshiva/6def159473/3a4b5a7bfa/21c35fbf27